When I was 16 I was punched in the face so hard that it completely shattered my left cheek bone. From the furthest left most region of my cheek across the orbit below my left eye to my nose, and down to my gums. That triangular region colliquoly known as "the cheek bone" is completely replaced with titanium plates and screws. It was a 9 hour opperation. The guy that did that to me also managed to sever a few nerves and to this day I still feel a small numbness in my face. It's been almost a decade. You should have seen the other guy. I totally broke his fist.
When I was 20 I landed myself in a car accident that threw me into a temporary drug induced coma (as per the hospitals advice.) The prefrontal region of my brain was swelling and they had to drill holes into my skull. I had also fractured the c2 vertabrea in my neck which is hystorically refered to as a "hangman's fracture." I'll let you assume why it's called that. After coming out of the drug induced coma and participating in several weeks of physical and mental therapy I was deemed safe to leave the hospital. I went back to college that semester and deans listed. I consider that a full recovery.
When I was 23 I moved to Oakland California. I lived at the intersection of 14th and Webster. It's where I started my transition. At this location I witnessed drive by shootings and bar brawls every weekend. One night I watched a young man break into 5 cars but was too afraid to call the cops lest someone over hear me. I was assaulted twice out in Oakland. I made the mistake of calling the cops after the first episode and was labelled a snitch which ultimately led to the second assault. I had gotten on the bad side of one of the squaters in my building who was selling coke to the local kids. He came knocking on my door one night while he was high on coke yelling "fight me, fight me faggot!"
I exited my doorway to try and talk him down but when he tried to walk by me and into my room I gouged at his face aiming for a pressure point. When that obviously wasn't working I started gouging his eyes. This coke head picked me up off the ground as I continued to ineffectively gouge at his eyes until he started biting on my ring finger. It's left a small scar to this day. When he finnaly let go of my hand I started elbow striking his head until he stumbeled away. Completely out of breath I called the cops. This is what labelled me a snitch to the other tennants in the building.
I later found out that Jimmy had broken into his room and was synthesizing crystal meth. Apparently he had spent time in federal prison and was in some spanish gang. He was squating a few doors down from mine. He told his friend to assault me for snitching. In The Empyreon Towers (the name of the building I lived in) I bumped shoulders with prostitutes, drug addicts, drug dealers, and all sorts of riff raff. Look up the Empyrean Towers on yelp.com
I'm 25 now. A few days after September 11th this year my mom decided to take her own life. I can't even begin to get into the details of that. It was literally the worst day of my life.
For the people that have followed me over the years, thank you. Being an artist is hard. I'm not writing so much music these days but I finnaly have a working computer and a safe roof over my head. I'm living with my dad again for the time being. All of these stories were paraphrased and typed over the course of thirty minutes but I'll let them sink in. I didn't even talk about my brief stint as a sex worker or some of my other questionable sources of income. Life has been hard. But if there's anything I want to take away from it all: life is good.
My nephew is almost two years old now. It's been an amazing privlege to watch my brother become the father of a beautiful child and the husband of an admirable wife. I still have my dad who is one of two parents that has loved me unconditionally through all my episodes. I have a decent job that I landed last year to get me through the winter. The lucritive season in the Hamptons is always the summer but when spring rolls around I'll have a second part time gig to fill my time with. I am continuing with my transition in the saftey of an afluent neighborhood within a strong community. As I said, I finally have a decent computer which means I might just pick up the music again. I might even get back into flash for the hell of it. Life is looking up once again. There's been so much chaos in my life and most of it self induced but at least I'm finnaly in a good place.
I'm only 25. "I'm still trying to figure out what I'll be when I grow up" ~Mom. She was my single greatest role model. I'll miss her but I'm happy to know that she's watching me from Valhalla and she's tipsy.