I. Old Flash Cartoons

Got some really strange content for todays blog. Was scouring old haunts for material, specifically an old DeviantArt account from high school.

Back in 2005 or 2006 I started animating flash cartoons with my friend Evan. We both enjoyed Legendary Frog's VG parody cartoons and so I'd make similar little models of us in flash for quick easy productions. We could voice act the cartoons on Friday afternoon and have animations finished for school projects by Monday. Eventually I made my own style inspired by the animations of Vinnie Veritas, those toons are in my catalog (2006-2007). I never uploaded the first style of cartoons featuring my friends because I didn't feel like they were good enough to survive the Flash Portal. Plus Newgrounds was blocked on high school computers which made sharing them a little difficult (pre external flash drives). I couldn't care less about portal scores anymore and decided to upload an oldie, check out Pildoras for a quick stupid laugh:

(EDIT: this cartoon has trouble playing on mobile devices and tablets. View via desktop)

The last stupid cartoon I ever published was posted on YouTube for my University which was hosting a film contest called "Why I Love Alfred University." As a freshman I didn't have a lot of reasons to love Alfred yet and even though I never won the contest, I'm still very proud of this stupid little cartoon:

My dad took minor offense to the Absolute Isopropyl poster in the cartoon, never noticing the fact that the sock puppet poster on the opposite wall featured a lady puppet being fisted. In his words "I don't drink vodka." Worth mentioning, Isopropyl isn't vodka but he defensively claimed that he didn't drink that either. To give him the final credit he deserves I never brought home good grades from school, that A was a lie. This cartoon was a total joke, my dad is awesome.

II. Pre NGP Alesis E-Drum Demo

I made another Alesis E-Drum demo in part to boost interest in the Newgrounds Podcast episode which I'll get to in a minute:

Uploaded this to a couple of Discord channels the night before the Podcast hoping someone might tune in because of it. The performance is improvisational, it's another short practice session but I'm playing with a new patch I've been calling "melody rims." The initial funk kit is a preset I've made some minor edits to but I love jamming on it. I still have massive endurance issues but my excuses are top notch:

Elevation of our house is 8,600 feet above sea level which means oxygen levels are very low. I spent my 20s smoking marijuana basically everyday several times a day but have managed to cut it almost completely out of my diet. For a little while I switched to legal Colorado edibles but now that I'm engaged to Tom I'm doing my best to live healthier for the both of us. Alcohol is almost never a part of my schedule, I've always had some trouble controlling my intake. I'll have one beer with dinner every so often but even one beer gives me a headache now which might be related to the altitude. My final excuse for sucking at drums is that I transitioned in my early 20s, low testosterone levels makes kinesthetic exercise noticeably different. Started HRT when I was 23 and almost immediately noticed a loss of strength and endurance which sucked because I always banked on my natural athleticism. I'm working really hard to practice daily so that I can again physically play the rhythms that are in my head.

III. lmao, Old Parkour Video

On that note about natural athleticism, here's a fun but ancient high school video of my friends and I doing parkour in Sag Harbor. I don't like to show this old stuff off because of gender dysphoria and a small "peaking-in-high-school" phobia but I'm mature enough to admit that I miss my late cousin. He's the guy with the dreads in this video. Andrew passed away when he was 23 from a drug overdose. For those curious, I was the idiot that wore pants while doing flips:

IV. Newgrounds Podcast Guest Appearance

I feel like this was a nice event and was very happy to have a chance to sit down with this crew and chat. I will update this post with the actual episode when they finish editing it but for now, there's the image they made for the frontpage. It will remain in my digital files as a small trophy and will be a reminder that I do all of this content generation for new friends and experiences.

Was a little taken off guard, VoicesByCorey filled in at the last second to make up for a few absentees but Droid did manage to appear late in the episode. I'm eternally grateful to Droid for hosting the Jamuary song a day challenge which allowed me to write some of my best material in a long time (Don't Give Up Until It's Over EP). I've had some minor interactions with VoicesByCorey in the past so it was lovely to have him grace the episode. I never know what type of feelings I'm sowing when I sample people but I named an EP after a Salad Fingers impression he did, Almost Orgasmic. He could have told me to eff-off and remove the sample but he's always been super cool about it so I'm in his debt, even though he thinks he's in my debt:

Shout out to PopTaffy whom I wasn't familiar with beforehand but that's just the way of Newgrounds. This website has always been many microcosms of talent so it's easy to be unaware of people that are making waves. I'll keep an eye out for you in the future and one final massive shout out to Shal for organizing the episode, the channel, and making it all happen!

Oops, yet another shoutout to Bleak-Creep for joining us during trivia. She's currently working on a game with Peti, Pam, and Levc. I might contribute some sounds as well but I've been absent from my computer a lot lately. I've been letting contacts slip away from me by not responding to messages. The notifications pile up and I start to get anxiety. I'm easily overwhelmed by very simple messages and interactions, screen time is a claustrophobic experience. I might have talked about that a little bit in the podcast. Perhaps it has something to do with my upbringing? My mother used to kick me off screens as a kid, forcing me to "play outside." As a kid I would walk around the neighborhood and trespass onto construction sites of new houses and use the tools left behind overnight to make my own rooms. I didn't know anything about construction, was mostly nailing two-by-fours to the floor and spray painting profanities onto brick chimneys BUT AT LEAST I WAS PLAYING OUTSIDE, RIGHT MOM?

That about wraps up the news worth talking about. Check out my latest song We Are Not Alone if you haven't already. Live long and prosper my lovely readers and extended Newgrounds family!

Table Of Contents:

I. Please Check Out My Bandcamp

II. One Of Our Chickens Was MURDERED

III. Studio Progress, Raising The Roof

IV. Astrophotography Segue

V. Music Studio Again

VI. Vacation Home

VII. Outro

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I. Please Check Out My Bandcamp

YAY! Another day another blog about how I've been too busy to make new content! I'm not going to apologize for my lack of activity because one day I'll be just as busy as I was in January. I can't recall how much I promoted the Jamuary album but I participated in an audio portal event to write a song a day for an entire month. Please check out some of the tunes from that project in case you never did. I'm really proud of a few tracks from that:

That was a really good month. If you can't be bothered to hit up my BandCamp page then please check out this playlist I made for that occasion. I've been wanting to get a new album together but I've been so busy. I'm sorry to do this to you all but it's time to segue into some sad news...

II. One Of Our Chickens Was MURDERED

Technically they are livestock not pets but I can't express how much I love these girls. The other night a skunk found it's way into the coop and ate the head off one of our babies. I don't want to get too graphic about our revenge but Tom managed to kill the skunk after mistakenly asking me to grab the air rifle. Our problem with the air rifle: it's not powerful enough to kill a squirrel. Despite a perfect headshot the skunk managed to survive, walk all over Tom's feet, then stumble out into the yard where we had to finish it off with a handgun. Apparently my nose is wonderfully busted, I couldn't smell anything but Tom had to endure the worst of it. The headshot only managed to stun the poor thing which is why Tom then grabbed the Savage and the Sig Sauer. Eventually we ended it's pain, I feel monstrous about it. I'm sorry if this news bothers you or comes across as animal abuse, I absolutely love skunks. They are the cutest little things but if we hadn't dispatched her then we probably would of had four dead chickens instead of just the one. SAD TIMES ON THE MOUNTAIN, let's talk instead about something more positive...

III. Studio Progress, Raising The Roof

In my previous blog, I talked about the studio progress from the foundation to the beginning of the walls. I also talked a little bit about our solar array. If you have any interest in solar power I would recommend going back and reading that blog. Conservative politicians in the pockets of big oil will try to downplay solar energy by implying that solar doesn't work at night completely ignoring the fact that solar energy is charged batteries. Our battery power will last about 72 hours of night time before we have to switch to generator. Thank god we have sun light every 12 hours or so to compensate for all that night time. In regards to where we left off with the music studio, we had only lifted two walls. This is what the building was looking like after we put up all four:

This leads into the roof rafters and OSB, a project that proved far more challenging than anything else yet:

All the pictures are of Tom, I'm working too but mostly as support. The nature of the roof rafters is to create a slope that helps offload snow. It's skeleton is very similar to the floor (previous blog, go go go). Eventually I'll put up insulation panels, probably after it snows. We've got all the OSB board up, but had to retire early today because the wind was very aggressive, more on that momentarily...

Fuck, that last picture has a few dirty extra projects visible in the background. I never found the time to talk about our water supply & rain harvest. Maybe next time I'll get into more detail but we catch all our rainfall from roof gutters. After we fill up two 55 gallon blue barrels (visible in the above picture) a float switch activates a pump which sends the water to the above ground holding tanks (also visible in the picture). From the holding tanks the water gets processed in the basement via a slow sand filter, before going underground and up the hill into three 1,700 gallon cisterns where the water sits until we decide to take a shower, clean dishes, or flush a toilet. We have several more filters to help deal with possible contamination or bacteria including R.O.D.I., blacklight, and some other shit...

Those are the underground cisterns. You can't see them because they are underground but the PVC pipes are attached and necessary for upkeep, monitoring, and pressure. Under the tarp is a pile of concrete bags that stayed outside over the winter and are now totally solid, ruined, rock hard, and not going anywhere. Don't ask, it's another project that never got finished. Also visible from two pictures up is the skeleton of our astronomy dome. We built a foundation for Tom's telescope dome in Tennessee when we thought we were going to live there but moved away after some not-so-neighborly drama. I could go into detail about that drama BUT FUCK THAT, HERE ARE SOME MORE NEAT PICTURES INSTEAD!!!

IV. Astrophotography Segue

Tom is a mad scientist. I can't believe I never blogged about his astrophotography hobby but the years have gone by so fast and maybe I was always nervous that our relationship would wither and die? Regardless, if you've been following my blogs you'd know that we're engaged and getting married next year. At least two other Newgrounds users are invited, let me know if you're interested in coming. We're going to marry on our homestead in Colorado near Groundhog Mountain:

V. Music Studio Again

Don't worry, the wedding will take place in the summer when there is no snow. I just really love that picture. I've gotten so off topic, I forgot about the news of the music studio. As I said, we called it early today. There is a storm coming in tonight, rain and snow. The snow probably won't stick but we only got about 1/4th of the work done that we wanted. The wind got very aggressive and was making the job dangerous. We weighed down the roofing with anything we had on hand:

The wind on the mountain can get brutal from time to time. Under the metal panels is tar paper to act as a second water barrier in case the metal panels decide to stop preventing water from hitting the OSB wood. It seems a little silly to protect wood with paper but totally necessary. The tar resists water, it's science. The walls will get a layer of tar paper as well before we apply some cheap T-111 siding. For a quick glimpse of what the studio is looking like from the inside:

I just realized, there are so many pictures of Tom in this blog that you might have started to assume he is me. In case ya'll forgot what I look like, here is this older picture from our temporary Georgia home:

I exist too aside from Tom but with the added burden of holding the camera most of the time. Life goes by so fast that it can be hard to remember to document all the happenings. We recently got a pop up camper and trailer but these blog posts are so erratic and all encompassing that including every cool little thing just feels braggadocios. I've hinted at some of my darker experiences in past blog posts, I even recently deleted one particular post about witnessing a drive-by shooting when I was living in Oakland in my early 20s. From trafficking small amounts of marijuana during United States prohibition, to flirting with sex work, to dealing with suicide; I haven't always been a good role model. It feels really good to post these updates, even if I'm not particularly active with my art or music. I'm secretly an introvert, so don't expect to see me on Discord unless I'm uploading music daily. I'm sorry to some of you that may have felt close to me, I'm just not a very reliable person when it comes to sitting still and making out with my computer monitor. I'm still here, I just get very lost from day to day. I don't talk about ADD much but my attention span is terrible. My fiance will notice that my eyes glaze over almost immediately when he starts talking to me. I'm not present in my own life 90% of the time so I'm grateful that he's so patient with it...

VI. Vacation Home

VII. Outro

I'm at my picture limit, so no more uploads for this blog. Maybe next time I'll talk about Tom's office which we plan on building on top of two shipping containers next year after the wedding. We recently got the shipping containers dropped off in our driveway after we decided to abort a garage. We will still build a modest garage under Tom's office & in-between the shipping containers but we have so many random projects in the air at the moment that it seems foolish to even mention Tom's office.

(edit: just realized that picture with the water processing equipment also has the shipping containers in it)

I suppose you can look forward to that build next year, I'm kind of excited to work on it. Tom will have a really nice view of the valley from atop two shipping containers. It kind of sucks that I reached my image limit, I was going to include one of those goofy chibi-Quarl drawings but I saved it for last, ran out of data, and regret nothing. Please have a great day people. I hope these posts serve as some kind of inspiration for you misanthropes and angst babies. I love watching Newgrounds users grow, especially the youth. I see a little of myself in all of you. Sometimes that's a good thing, other times it isn't. Do your best, focus on progress, make some crazy shit, become a better version of yourselves.

~love Quarl

Relative Blog Contents:

I. Inactivity Apologies

II. Studio Build

III. LOOK AT HOW MUCH BETTER MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN SINCE MY EARLY 20s

IV. ...Making Stupid Shit That Made Me Happy

V. Hang Gliding Edit

I don't like to blog unless I got content, have been trying to make videos to include in recent blogs. It's kind of worth checking out my Alesis Strike Pro E-Drum content [HERE] [AND HERE]. I've been super inactive digitally and felt it was necessary to make an update; especially considering I've been ignoring Discord messages. Something about that app, I just hate it. Red dot notifications with numbers make my eyes glaze over. I've got hundreds of messages I haven't opened. Best chance to get my attention right now is with a DM right here on Newgrounds. I go through periods of massive activity and content creation followed by dry spells in which I'm more invested in my day to day life. Avoiding my computer is a sport. Tom and I have started building the music studio these last few weeks and when we're not building he's on conference calls. Sharing the office has always felt a little cramped, having my own space again is going to rock. Totally check out some of those older blogs or my YouTube channel to get an idea for what kind of jazz-dnb-electro-acoustic shenanigans might be created in the future studio space.

II. Studio Build

Two walls are up, floor is done:

I'll get into some of the nitty gritty of the studio construction with some more pics in a second but I want to plug a few of our older projects first. Tom and I moved off grid over a year ago. For those that are unaware, off grid simply means we don't receive electricity from the national grid, it does not mean we don't have internet. We use Starlink's satellite network to stream tv and work from. For some reason the term off grid has been misunderstood with a few people on Reddit, "hur hur how can you be on Reddit if you're off grid," massive eye roll. I tried finding an older blog post about the solar array but didn't see one, guess I forgot to talk about it. The solar array was literally the first thing we worked on when we moved onto the mountain:

I probably never blogged about it because we technically never finished it. If you study the above snow picture, you might make out that we never actually cut two by four to attach steps on the left most pathway going up the panels. Turns out we don't need to climb the array to move snow off the panels; pushing snow off the first string quickly melts the snow on the higher panels. When the wood starts getting a little older and rotten we've talked about doing this project again but with metal. We got a plasma cutter and welder for that project when we get around to it...

Some context for those out of the loop: we bought a property a couple years ago in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. The house was built by a man named "Spark." Originally it was a summer cottage for his family that we've been repurposing for year round living, there's no winter access (I'll talk about snow mobiles shortly.) The house was originally outfit to run on propane but gas is crazy expensive, hence the solar array. Tom engineered and drew the plans for the array in Georgia after watching a fuck ton of YouTube videos on Will Prowse's channel. If you have any interest in making a solar array or running something off solar power you need to look at Will's YouTube channel. Here's a couple of old pictures of Tom building the battery for the house:

Edit: just thought to mention, the white wires are connected to a device called a BMS (battery monitoring system) which hooks up to an app and tells us how the batteries are feeling at any given time. They're usually pretty good, real chill homies.

We did not build the inverter. If you've ever "built" a computer, think of the inverter as the mother board that comes preassembled because you're an idiot. "Building" a computer is usually rather simple because all you do is plug a few things into an already assembled mother board. Think of the inverter as the thing you don't want to do yourself because fucking it up is expensive. The above battery is just a bunch of smaller batteries daisy-chained together then covered in tape. We have a second back-up battery the same size that we built after this picture was taken. It sits below the first where all the paper is pictured. I never bothered to get a picture after the back up battery was assembled, fuck me.

Another project we managed to hustle out last summer was enclosing the porch and installing a pellet stove for heat. See this older blog for some information on enclosing the porch. I've already rambled like crazy and haven't said much about the studio space. We started the studio project by using a rented excavator to flatten some land and keep the building's foundation level:

That picture is actually from last year, we borrowed another excavator from a friend to redo the horrible job we did last year but I didn't take pics. We're using six concrete blocks to build the foundation the studio is being built on top of. Leveling the four corners was a small hassle but allowed us to go ham for a few days after everything was ready.

(Tom used the winch on the Jeep to straighten out a few things. Mad improper but neither of us are carpenters. The man in the above picture is a glorified computer geek WHO I LOVE. Read this older blog about how he proposed. Wedding next year, June 2023. Let me know if you want to show up.)

After putting in some studs we cut and crammed in some Styrofoam insulation panels. We used the same panels under the floor of the enclosed porch. Just like the porch, we're going to install a pellet stove to provide heat. Our house is heated with a stove but our back up redundancies are electric and gas. Pellet stove is just super cheap and the wood pellets can also be used for cat litter. We use electric heat during the day when sun is hitting the panels and our batteries are full. It's always smart to have back ups when you live off grid, hence three possible sources of heat. Our budget last year included a snow mobile and a tracked UTV; two vehicles to manage the snow. Our roads are not plowed in the winter so we had to manage 8 miles last year to the nearest parking lot outside an industrial pumping station in the middle of the San Juan forest. We parked our Jeep there last year but our car was broken into once, that's an entire story unto itself. We came across a guy who got his truck stuck in the snow and gave him a ride into town. We found our Jeep broken into a few days later with one of our tow straps broken but still attached to his immobile truck. We called a tow company to unfuck his car when he was gone, called the cops, and eventually got a police line up. He was very easy to identify via a cliché tear drop prison tattoo under his right eye, can't make this shit up. Instead of parking the Jeep at the pumping station this year we're just putting tracks on the Gladiator for our trips to Walmart:

Fuck this blog is out of control. This is why I ignore messages on Discord, my life is fucking mess of projects, builds, and fun. There is so much cool shit going on that I'm not going to include in this blog because it might come across like I'm gloating. My life is super good right now but it hasn't always been this way. My 20s were a rough patch of hustling and working. While marijuana is currently being legalized in states across the US, I might have relied on moving it illegally to pay bills in my early 20s. That wasn't a confession, I have no idea if that time of my life will ever come back to haunt me but so far things have been peachy. I will confirm or deny nothing...

III. LOOK AT HOW MUCH BETTER MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN SINCE MY EARLY 20s

SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? Ignore that time in my 20s when I tried paying bills via sex work, my 30s are a much better period from which I can apparently gloat about how good life is. You people can find happiness too but first you probably have to do some soul searching, grow a little, and experience life's lowest lows. There were valleys in my 20s that have given me the outlook I needed to better enjoy my 30s. Enjoy little things. Depression will kill you, as it killed my mom and my cousin when I was 25. I fought with depression, anger, and dysphoria nonstop growing up but I kept...

IV. ...Making Stupid Shit That Made Me Happy

MAKE STUPID SHIT, ALL THE TIME, NEVER STOP.

You people are artists, musicians, animators, programmers... don't let life stop you from drawing something dumb or making noisy music that nobody loves. I'm no one special but I never wanted to stop being weird and making stuff. Go make cartoons, bleed out some content, cry but also work hard, keep a roof over your heads, pay bills, know where your next meals are coming from. Stay in school, brush your teeths, don't lose sight of things that matter because one day you may rise from your depression strong and beautiful. You, yes you: you're a phoenix. From ashes you will rise and become bitchin' fire birds. YOU ARE LIONS, BELIEVE IN YOURSELVES! KILL A GAZELLE, EAT IT IN IT'S ENTIRETY. DON'T THINK, JUST EAT. FEEL THE WARM BLOOD DRIP DOWN YOUR FURRY CHIN. YES, YOU. I BELIEVE IN YOU. FUCK YEAH, mic drop.

V. Hang Gliding Edit: Bleak-Creep commented on the hang-gliding pic so I decided to repost this video from an older blog. I have to re-up my registration and fly again, it's been a couple of years. This video was taken at Look Out Mountain Flight Park in northwest Georgia. Now I'll have to make a six hour drive to Salt Lake City Utah but there's a huge flying community out there and the wind is consistent daily so it's much better for learning. Look Out Mountain had incredibly inconsistent wind in comparison.

I. New Video: With Every Note

Been trying to get some new video projects recorded but video is not my cup of tea anymore. Compared to the age of linear and nonlinear hardware editing machines that I used intuitively as a kid, I had to try about four different free software applications before settling on something very basic. They just don't make video editing tools like they used to. Some of them lacked razors, dissolve transitions, black screens, intuitive sequencers, save features, and so on. To the music, I'm not very good at bass guitar yet. Started playing a couple of months ago but in a years time I'd like to revisit this material and do a better version of it. This was incredibly sloppy for what I wanted to do, had to fight my fiance once or twice for the office. A lot of this material is a little embarrassing but at least I can fall back on my drum chops.

(cleavage in thumbnail is an attempt to drive up views the old fashioned way. sue me)

II. Us Chapter 4 & Piano OST

I'm sad to see this series come to an end. It took me a while to get to know Bleak-Creep but the pay off was better than money and sex. She knows how much she means to me, please give the cartoon series a once through viewing from Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, and Episode 4. Garden is a visionary animator and story writer with admirable skill and execution. Her design work is impeccable. You can get a better idea about our friendship via everything I wrote on the Episode 4 Piano OST page (more drawings too). I'm not sure I want to gush about it all one last time, I'm starting to tear up just thinking about it. THANK YOU GARDEN!

Also worth mentioning, Garden and I recorded an episode of Off The Wall with ThatJohnnyGuy. It's meant to plug the animation but it hits on some big topics so please keep an eye out for it in the coming weeks! It was amazing catching up with him. We've met a few times irl but this was a very unique experience and fun way to rekindle an old friendship.

III. NGADM (Last Minute Judge)

I've come to the realization over the years that competing in things leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'm impetuous and quick to frustrate, will nit-pick small things, and generally whine sometimes. I'm in a much better headspace to take on the role of a judge or bystander that cheerleads others to greatness. Also, I'd much rather have a hand in delivering the results. I was pleasantly tickled when LD-W reached out and asked me to help judge NGADM, I will put my energy into helping that contest instead of being a NGADM sore loser that questions aspects of the competition while doing nothing to help it. I'm looking forwards to hearing some great material :3

IV. AIM Results And Reviews

Shout out to all the amazing material featured in the Art Inspired Music competition. For the uninitiated, the theme of the contest was to find art and write music inspired by it. Shout out to Random-Storykeeper for organizing the entire thing and making it possible. So many people enjoyed themselves and it's all on her. I wrote reviews for everyone because I know how much users can appreciate genuine feedback. There were some tunes that blew my socks off and I decided to link to them here to give them some added credit. If you want to know why I loved the tracks so much, feel free to read the reviews and remember to look at the illustrations! Though I handed out 7 perfect scores that suit the spirit of the contest, these specific ones just spoke to my soul on a level that transcended the scores I gave them:

I apologize if you don't see your song in my short list but it's honestly way longer than I wanted it to be for this blog. I actually went back and deleted songs from it to make the list even shorter so there's a chance it was up there. Sorry in advance, I really loved all the tracks for one reason or another. Having grown up here this place is special to me. I love hearing and seeing what the community is up to and judging a contest is the fastest way to catch up. Go check out Playlist 1 and Playlist 2 organized by Annette to hear everything produced for the contest!

edit: Or if you just want the results from the contest, I forgot to add the link! Here you go!!

V. TLDR:

UNRELATED TO EVERYTHING I SAID IN THIS POST, giggle at this short comic featuring VoicesByCorey and donate to his recent life struggles, he's hurting right now AND HE'S ONE OF US!! NEWGROUNDS FAMILY ACTIVATE!!! If you've already donated, donate again. I've been considering slipping him a third small donation. It's just pocket money but the man genuinely respects anything and he's not going to get mad at you for doing it. So do it.

Today's blog header is a quickie I traced up for ControllerJar. I don't often take requests for derp drawings because I just do them without thinking but I love me some ControllerJar and was getting Titanic's "draw me like you draw your French girls" vibes so I threw her on top of a piano. I think we're both happy with it even if it was just for laughs. Vivian's fursona was originally drawn by Controllerjar, I based my drawing off of Bleak-Creep's illustration from December last year, go give that a look. Garden has such an awesome cartoon style.

Section I: I got a chaos emerald.

Was playing AC Valhalla last night when my fiance offered a walk up the mountain. For those unfamiliar, we moved off-grid a year ago an hour up the Colorado mountains near Groundhog Lake. We have great views and peaceful quiet. He decided to lead me to the highest point on the property while we carried up two chairs to watch the sunset on the mountains. At the peak of the climb he pulled Champaign and two wine glasses out of a bush. I had no idea what he was planning, I was just playing along and going on a hike. The elk were bugling, the sun was setting on the mountains, and he gives me a small jewelry bag with a necklace in it. I thought it might be a ring, was a little let down that it wasn't a ring but I was grateful for the necklace, I thanked him. Then he pulled out a ring. I'm officially marrying my best friend and the love of my life. After getting back inside I didn't feel ok playing Assassin's Creed so I turned off the PlayStation.

Tldr; perfectly good game sesh was ruined by some horny guy >:C

That picture was taken shortly after we got back from the hike. Was so excited I didn't care if it was blurry, immediately sent the picture to my family. Also, I had to mirror flip the image because I had the ring on the wrong hand BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYHTING ABOUT TRADITIONS. IT FITS SLIGHTLY BETTER ON MY RIGHT HAND, SUE ME.

Section II: AIM contest reviews and results (coming soon)

In other news, I've been putting off the very last audio review for the AIM a few days now. I'm letting the other judges catch up, I went overboard with my free time and wrote in depth reviews for every contestant to bridge logic to their scores and help composers finesse fidelity/mix-down issues. When the contest is over and all the scores are tallied up I'll start handing out the 94 reviews. If you want to listen to some of the songs in the contest I'd recommend the two playlists that Random-Storykeeper made for the event (Playlist 1)(Playlist 2). I'm not spilling any of my favorites or anything, all the music was amazing and once the other judges tally up their scores the results are sure to get interesting. Stay tuned, we'll get those results all sorted out eventually. I tossed some prize money into the pool and if I remember correctly the top three spots will get some. If you want to help me recoup that money...

Section III: ...hit up my Bandcamp or Patreon you slobs.

I don't push my other sites very much. I think two people follow me on Patreon, Sorohano limits me to two dollars a month. Y'all can responsibly follow me there and I will almost never update it or take your money. You can also head over to my Bandcamp and purchase songs & albums that remain free on Newgrounds. I try to remain accessible, I really don't make much money off my work. Just started a new part time job but in many ways I feel retired at this point of my life. You can support me or you can support yourselves. It's all good.

Section IV: New Video In The Works

I actually want to compose something serious for YouTube. I've been updating my blog posts with improvisational practice videos for a while showing off the new Alesis Strike Pro e-drum. I've been in love with this instrument so if you're wondering why I haven't been making music, that's why. I'm getting all my music kicks away from my DAW, sorry maybe? Video should include a little piano stuff too, I essentially have a full sound studio now but I'm mostly playing with the drums.

Section V: Us Chapter 4 & Goat Dreams

Bleak-Creep is chugging along with her animation, apparently she's not terribly far off from finishing it. Episode 4 is the last true episode in the US series but I'll make sure to harass her for off shoot sequels at some point in time. I've been joking about a parody cartoon series where the protagonist Poppy wakes up from a long dream and she's actually a goat. The entire Us cartoon series was just a goat dream and Skye is also a goat. Skye just wants to eat grass and stand on cliff sides, Poppy goat has a gay crush on Skye goat but they're just goats and they eat grass YO SHUT UP. THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. THEY EAT GRASS AND BLEET YO D:<

I made Garden some fan art to show her my seriousness and devotion. "Goat Dream" coming soon to a Newgrounds portal near you :p

That about wraps it all up. Thank you for stopping by and staying involved in my life. May you all have a wonderful day and refrain from doing anything illegal. Stay in school, don't do drugs, brush your teeth. If you get stopped by United States police you are under no obligation to say anything that might incriminate you. Ask if you're being detained or whether you have commit any crimes then stick to your 5th. Ask periodically if you may leave under the assumption that you've done nothing wrong and film every interaction. Dash cam ftw.

Section VI: tldr

Silly drawings, chaos emerald, I write too much, give me your money.

NO GOOFY DRAWINGS TODAY; HERE'S A FUN DRUM VIDEO TO WATCH INCASE THE BLOG IS TLDR;

I'll get to the data issue momentarily but first, about the jam video. It was uploaded to youtube a couple of weeks ago but am just now getting around to blogging about it. Just another "fun" practice video today but I think my arms and tech are strengthening up with each passing week. The altitude on the mountain is probably what kills my endurance but if I can stop smoking weed and start riding my bike again I'll probably be much happier & healthier for it. The Alesis is a fun machine and I'm in love with it. Only problem I've run into is a cracked screen. Lesson learned: don't put the module too close to the hi-hats. Replacing the unique sexy display screen is impossible if you accidentally hit the module while playing exuberant 16th note patterns. Directions should include a warning about that. The screen is not fixable. They designed a huge flaw by making the screen impossible to replace and easy to break. Alesis basically told us to pony up and buy a new $800 module. Luckily we bought the drums through SweetWater who acted as an intermediary to get us a new module shipped for free. Alesis makes a great product but their customer support is "fuck you."

Content Creators: Back Up Your Data!

So I'm running into computer issues again, "blue screening" a lot. A clean reinstall of Windows would probably solve the immediate issue but I've actually convinced my fiancé to turn one of his old servers into a work computer, so I got a decent upgrade going on. Until I can get my data over I'm not doing a fresh install on the laptop but it's getting old enough that I was starting to question it's overall value. The laptop was great when we were living in an RV but I really want to go back to a dedicated desktop now. Everything of value is still on the laptop, hence no goofy chibi drawings today.

It's incredibly easy in this day and age to automatically backup your drives via cloud services. I'm an old slut for dedicated externals that can be slipped into filing cabinets. However you choose to back up your creative data: DO IT NOW. You never know when a tech issue is going to try fucking you. I've lost very little data over the years but it happens from time to time. Two tracks in particular that often get me down are I Love Him and Not Afraid Of Dying. Lost the RSN files for those tracks years ago and I'd do anything to get them back for remix/remaster. I have RSN files that go all the way back to 2008/2009 but due to hard drive failures, accidental overwrites, and bad file names I've lost data. It happens. We are just animals toying with a godlike framework of electrical signals and switches. Computers can fail, back up your zeros and ones!

If anyone is reading this, I could use a suggestion for a better video editing program. I recently tried out ShotCut but it randomly decides to not export certain text layers and frequently crashes. Also tried Da'Vinci but I had problems setting it up and would crash before starting up. I just want a program that's similar to Final Cut, free, doesn't crash, and has fadein/fadeout to black screen. Freeware video editing software is driving me crazy, what do y'all use?

On The Homestead

I've been getting a little distant and depressed lately, nothing unusual though. We all have highs and lows and I'm just feeling a little low right now. I notice a lot of artists on this site express depression, loneliness, self doubt, failures, frustrations... we're fucking artists yo. We express ourselves through our works arbitrarily because we're too autistic or psychotic to understand regular people. I can totally relate to y'all but I hate expressing those feelings on my own creative platform because it feels like those kinds of posts can scare people away from the work I'm most proud of. It happens to us all, so I do my best to put out batshit levels of positive energy in an attempt to be a better role model.

TBH, I am a shitty role model. I am not a successful artist, I'm just someone that managed to survive the droughts and lows in my 20s. I create things because they make me happy but digital/social media also makes me sad. I get anxious staring at a computer screen, alone in a small room all day, far removed from the outside world. I enjoy socializing on Discord but also regret not having more real life interactions and friends. I feel like a fucking creature that rolls around in my own filth all day... which is why I make these blog posts to remind myself what I'm actually doing out here. Tom and I are still making renovations to the house. We enclosed the porch for the winter but a custom window arrived warped so we had to put up a temporary wall for the winter which means we couldn't finish the flooring, siding, insulation, and framing. It's starting to look much better now that the final window is in place though:

...and here's an older picture of the porch after we raised the floor six inches but before we put up the walls:

The next construction project will be our sheds, the sound studio will be built this summer. We got all sorts of exciting toys for the studio space. I haven't talked about the guitars yet because we went a little overboard but I've been doing my best to learn how to play these things:

The PRS guitars are hella extra but I'm happy to share my interests with Tom, since he's the one that wanted the PRS guitars with pearl inlays and it's not like they're losing any value as they wait for us to make some more time for them. I've been having a particularly fun time with the squire bass and PRS acoustic. Neither of us feel skilled enough to play with the two guitars on the right yet but the day will come soon enough when I'm recording with these instruments. I haven't talked about them at all because I feel guilty having them around, I'm a percussionist. Fuck me and these guitars, right?

I think a small degree of my current depression stems from feeling like I don't deserve Tom, or this life. I feel like a barnacle that failed upwards. If my 20's were defined by constant challenges, deaths, hospitalizations, transitions, drug sales, and drive-bys then maybe my 30s will be defined by how everything went perfectly and I still got depressed?

AWKWARD SEGUE, THE CHICKENS ALL SURVIVED THE WINTER!! Not a single coyote, mountain lion, bear, nor skunk managed to kill a single bird from our flock. We got all four chicks last year and they're still ranging about the property, pecking at dirt like the little egg laying geniuses that they are.

I have absolutely no right feeling depressed, distant, or demanding. Life is strange. I wrote a song a long time ago called "The Meaning Of Life Is Paradox," which basically means "the grass is always greener." I hated society growing up but now that I'm so far away from it I get a little sad. In my 20s I wanted to tour, write music, and band with others. Instead I had to sell my drum kit, lost all my friends, and worked until I died. My mom died and my hands bled. I was working the landscaping industry towards something better and it felt like every day to day challenge was insurmountable. Now it feels like things are coming too easily. I'm skeptical of all the good things, worried that it could all end at any moment and I'll be right back where I started. By and large, my fiancé is the best thing to ever happen to me and I wouldn't have him if I didn't sell my drums and travel. I'd have never met him if I didn't transition. I'd still be busting my ass and inhaling herbicides right now in New York. There were massive risks in my 20s but life got better.

I feel better, but I'm still an artist that gets sads. The music doesn't make any money but pursing it feverously gained me everything I have that is good. We're artists, layered and complicated people. Things often won't make any sense but there's always a chance that tomorrow will be the day you wake up feeling better. We can pity ourselves or we can find the wisdom to make ourselves better. We can help make the people around us better. We can draw stupid shit and feel good while doing it. We can wonder when our metaphorical ships will set sail, but first everything needs to burn down around us. From those ashes, maybe a forest can grow.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*✲ﾟ*｡⋆

I. Drone Footage

HELLO, wish I was making more progress on creative stuffs but I'm feeling super lazy at the moment. Woke up and stole some drone footage from my fiance, tossed some old music on top, called it a day. Lazy video:

II. Drum Footage

Also, here is some more footage of the Alesis. Longer video today, included a lot of candid practice and improvisational arm swinging. I'd love a suggestion for a free video editing program that runs like final cut and doesn't crash every ten minutes or hides key features like fadeouts behind pay walls. I'm gonna go crazy with these crummy freeware video editors.

III. tldr

oh fuck off, you could have read everything in 30 seconds or less. I made two fun videos for you today, WATCH THEM D:<

Table Of Contents:

I. Art Inspired Music Contest

II. Alesis Demo: Sequential Samples

III. Getting Married <3

IV. Memes

I. Art Inspired Music Contest [LINK]

Submission deadline: June 20th

Since It's a community event I'll get this out of the way first. I'm one of the volunteer judges and have the time to drop reviews for everyone that competes. If all goes well, I will also leave reviews for the graphic artists. Please, challenge yourselves. Go outside your comfort zones and pick art that tells a story. Honor the graphic artists by suiting your music to their illustrations, not the other way around. Being an EDM artist, it can feel really tempting to pick some colorful visual stimuli or sexy girl that suits something you're already working on. Don't do that.

Promising to review everything submitted to the contest is daunting but I obviously have the free time for this at the moment, with all the time I spend on Discord:

Yeah, I worry sometimes about how this kind of thing comes across. It's a good thing I'm living the best years of my life right now or else I'd hate myself for using my identity as a creative bludgeon...

II. Alesis Demo: Sequential Samples

Just finished another demo video of the Alesis Strike Pro SE. I'm no cinematographer, currently using the freeware ShotCut to edit these vids. The shorts are just for fun and to show friends and family the new toy. Eventually I'll start loading my own samples into the machine. The drum module contains a number of files that when played sequentially can produce melodic elements. This video is showing off the Jeff Funk bass samples and some cute chip tune sounds:

Tom made me crop the floor out of the shot, all his trash was making him self conscious. If I had known this would happen I'd have been shooting videos all over the house a year ago. The bedroom, the living room, the office, the kitchen... any room that needs to be cleaned I should be hosting streams in C:<

III. Getting Married <3

There is an official date now, sometime next year. I'd share this date and location with all of you but it's going to be a small BBQ on the front lawn, not some extravagant church publicity ritual that everyone is invited to. We have had conversations about those rituals and want the wedding to feel both genuine and humble without it putting undue stress on anyone or costing a fortune. It sounds like all of Tom's coworkers want to show up and I'm inviting one or two people from Newgrounds. I feel so distant from my childhood friends and doubt their ability to fly across the country. There are some people from my past I'd love to invite but I have so many doubts about what I mean to them now. Transitioning ten years ago changed everything. The last thing I want is for an old bandmate or childhood friend to misgender me or let slip to Tom's coworkers that I'm different. A hard thought just hit me, my late mom will not be able to attend. How is that going to feel the day of? SO MANY FUN BITTERSWEET FEELINGS TO CONTEMPLATE, YAY :D

IV. Memes

NO EXISTENTIAL THOUGHTS TODAY, ONLY HAHA FUNNY TIMES. I BRING YOU MEMES!!!

DO THESE MEMES PLEASE YOU?? DO YOU LOVE IT WHEN QUARL IS SILLY? I CAN BE SO SILLY. AAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Have a good day :3

Contents:

I. Don't Give Up Until It's Over EP

II. Art Inspired Music Contest

III. Alesis Strike Pro SE Demos

IV. Some Music Videos For Fun

I. Don't Give Up Until It Is Over EP

lmao, this EP. Back in January, Droid hosted Jamuary. This was an event in which Newgrounds musicians were inspired to write one song a day, everyday, for one month. I have so much respect for the artists that participated, even if only for a day or two. Had collaborated with [sampled] several other artists: Leavesz, Ketyri, MilkyPossum. Also wrote an OST for Bleak-Creep. I sought out permissions to include samples on my album late in March. They were all fast to respond and polite about the use of their samples. Honestly, I could have contacted them in February but am so fucking lazy. I'm debating filing for an extension on my taxes this year so I don't have to worry about them until October- I'M SO FUCKING LAZY.

(bandcamp)(newgrounds)

Shout out to some of the other artists I noticed during the event such as Casper, metalblinga, DiosselMusic, ChordsInMotion, vermeen, BeepBoxClock, TheVodouQueen, jacklehamster, trashalias, spun-earth, KamskiSketchi, Screch, Carf... and honestly anyone I just missed. Stopped myself from copy/pasting everyone in the thread when I mostly just remember Casper, metalblinga, Droid, and a few others from past events whose names are etched into my brain because they are awesome people. Newgrounds can be a furious smattering of talented artists and trying to cram in the time necessary to listen to everyone is a sad exercise in futility. More than that, I just don't participate in events often enough. Am personally quite reclusive, skittish, and animal like. On that note...

II. Art Inspired Music Contest

I've talked to random-storykeeper about joining the judges for the Art Inspired Music contest this year and will drop a review for everyone that participates. If you ever wanted an in depth music review detailing ideas, techniques, methods, theory, or just random stupid thoughts... I'm your girl. I don't often volunteer to do events that are super time consuming. I joined the panel for the AIM judges years ago and loved the experience. It's time to rejoin the fold and drop some super long reviews that make people question the quality of their headphones <3

If you are unaware of the Art Inspired Music contest, keep your eyes open for it in the coming weeks. Here is a link to the current info, projections for the contest start date is due mid April. My birthday is the 9th by the way, celebrate it by writing some killer music for the AIM. Challenge yourselves and dig for art subs that push you well outside of your comfort zones as opposed to finding an artist or sub that suits your personal styles.

Graphic artists are lovely people to make friends with. A good honest attempt at an OST for some graphic art could lead to fascinating relationships in future years. I've been commissioning graphic artists recently for things like album covers, website skins, and art swaps. Newgrounds is always at it's strongest when artists reach out and touch each other consensually.

III. Alesis Strike Pro SE Demos

I've started to record material with a recently purchased Alesis Strike Pro SE electronic drum kit. I'll include two short demo videos for funzorz, recorded straight to the drum module. I'll post more videos like this in the future, higher res. Just trying to get my drumming arms back into shape first:

These sounds and drum samples were all included in the module sound bank. Still just building kits with those built-in sounds. The module operates off an SD card, putting my own samples on these machines will be splendid... eventually. You can set up samples to play sequentially one after the other but I have no idea how to do that yet. I can put one-off sounds onto the card but will eventually start translating some of my songs into those sequential samples. I'm also just enjoying the opportunity to play the drums again. I moved into an RV with an aspie almost five years ago. Setting up an acoustic kit has not been an option for years AND IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY. You think I started beat-boxing because I love mouth music? NO, I SOLD MY DRUM KIT IN 2012 SO I COULD DRIVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND SLEEP WITH PEOPLE TWICE MY AGE. I BEAT-BOX BECAUSE I HAD NO DRUMS AND THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. I AM GOING TO PLAY DRUMS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, NO ONE CAN STOP ME.

*cough*

IV. Some Music Videos For Fun

So obviously I love my new drum kit. I hope to eventually cross something between the technical drumming skills of Louis Cole and the accessibility of French Kiwi Juice. These are two of my favorite artists at the moment:

You can watch these two all day, they have such amazing funk. Another artist with some serious style points is Newgrounds Trumpet guru and old friend, Mihai Sorohan. LOOK AT HIM:

There are so many talented people that cruise through Newgrounds and disappear over the years. This website doesn't retain all of it's talent because to be totally honest, there isn't a whole lot in the way of upward mobility here. It's a small ecosystem of creative dynamos and Newgrounds is lucky to have experienced people like Sorohan roll through from time to time. The creative world can feel stifling and sometimes elite. In the absence of "elite," this website manages to exude an underground, cult-like environment. Someone recently called me mistress and I'm too conflicted to correct them because it just jives with the nature of this website and I'm way too easily amused by it. I'm giving all of you permission to start calling me mistress, if only because of the new album. Mistress demands you go listen to it.

I also have a Newgrounds playlist featuring all 30 songs free of charge. I'd say something humiliating about downloading tracks for free vs buying them from bandcamp but my heart isn't 100% into this whole mistress thing. There are way too many kids running around this hentai website and I don't necessarily want to encourage bad behavior D:

Oh fuck, more jazz:

Also, this band again because yes:

...and finally, something funny:

Thank you for stopping by and dropping emoticons on this post despite it's questionable value to humanity. I could have donated energy or money to something useful but instead stayed up late, posted music videos, and drawings of my friends riding racoons. Shout out to Ketyri and Bleak-Creep for keeping it real, riding raccoons into the sunset with me <3 <3

Feeling overwhelmed because I typed too much? A table of contents to help you skip things:

Section I: Where is Quarl?

It's been a few months and I'm starting to let certain creative projects slip from my focus. Stopping me from turning my Jamuary tracks into an album is the fact that I still need to contact some of the artists I covered or remixed for clearance. I'm not about to post those tracks to Bandcamp without their permissions and I haven't bothered to take the time to write three or four short private messages. Am feeling hella lazy. I was also slightly deterred at the prospect of remastering 30 tracks, fixing a bad mix down can often feel impossible. If I lack clearance for those covers I'll just throw together an abridged EP featuring the best tracks from those original 30. I don't make any money from EPs so there is very little motivation to do so. I actually don't make any money at the moment, oops.

Section II: Building a Studio Space

Another reason I'm not so active revolves around the equipment my fiance and I have been loading up on. I've been learning how to program my new Alesis Pro SE electronic drum kit and getting the old arms back in shape. I see so much potential for the Alesis as a creative tool, the machine can be programmed to play all sorts of genres.

Here's a neat demo video from SweetWater if you want to see the Alesis kit in action. Eventually I'll make something original with it, we also bought GoPros, and a Model 12 Tascam mixing board.

I've collected a few stem folders from friends on my desktop but the thought of putting in the dirty work necessary to make good remixes feels daunting compared to instant gratification I'm getting from the drum kit. I'm having so much fun with it. Haven't been able to set up my acoustic drums for about 5 years now, my fiance has ASD. He's not super sensitive to loud noises like some aspies but I've always worried about his ears in regards to the drum kit. Don't want to hurt my kitties either, literally all ears can be damaged. Drums are so loud, having a drum kit that can be programmed or even turned "off" is such a godsend.

Another Alesis demo video, drum battle.

We're going to build a studio space this summer for all of our music equipment. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time but have always had to compromise for living situations or budget. Having a dedicated creative space is a huge prospect because a digital space can begin to feel claustrophobic. I currently despise looking at my computer, especially after watching something like this:

Now I want to jam in a salt flat at sunset filmed by drones and surrounded by expensive music equipment, help D:



Section III: Ukraine

There's also the depressing state of affairs in Ukraine right now which is taking up a huge emotional space in my psyche. Tom and I will cycle through news stations through out the day and lament on all the sad images and experiences being created in Ukraine right now. I can't even derive happiness from video games, everything feels so insignificant and selfish. Having a hard time finding the justification to finish an EP that will only sell one copy while Putin is literally threatening a nuclear World War III. How do you people sleep at night? Nuclear war will kill us all.

Section IV: GLBT stuff, skip if hetero

Hopefully I'll get some positive energy when Spring rolls around. I had deleted some thoughts from my last track's commentary because I just felt stupid with everything going on. It takes a constant reminder that my place here on Newgrounds has evolved from "one of the kids" to "one of the adults."

Working with Bleak-Creep on "Us" has me feeling all sorts of things. Role models are an important aspect of life. We all need them. I've been living such an awesome life these last few years, I feel like it's necessary to point out that I've had some really dark years too. There are a lot of young people that roll through Newgrounds and I'm not one of them anymore. I sometimes act spontaneously to try and emulate the creative environment that I grew up in. I can be more than a little impetuous sometimes. There have been some real psychopaths on this website, from time to time I have looked up to them for their work. I don't necessarily want to be one of them.

Awkward segue because I don't like talking about it, I'm a trans woman. I prefer living a normal life, fitting in with the women around me. Standing out and being some kind of role model is an unattractive idea. Out of art school I tried to pioneer some kind of rock'n'roll lifestyle across the country with only $5,000 in my bank account from a quick summer gig. I ended up failing after one year but gained so much from the experience. On the drive to California I stopped for one night in Missouri Springfield to meet a friend from Newgrounds who was going through her own transition. Had I not made that one stop, my entire life would be different. I would visit her again a couple of years later in Miami Florida, where she was rooming with my current fiance. I have a huge amount of respect for Devyn, and look up to her as a tremendous role model. She's a person I continue to feel drawn to because every time I meet her my life seems to change for the better.

I don't like talking about my past or getting outed by people but honestly, I'm in a strange position to be a positive role model. If you're dealing with suicidal or hurt feelings, seek some degree of professional help. I feel a very important step on everyone's journey is to experience new things. So seek out healthy, positive experiences. Do some soul searching, grow, be brave.

In Oakland I'd get sick of the street noises. I had to keep my apartment room window open to vent a smelly litter box. The city cross walks beeped at all hours of the day to help a local deaf community get around the neighborhood. The street sweepers would come through @ 2-3 AM every morning to give people parking tickets. Living close to Korea-town at the time, I slowly learned to tell the difference between fireworks and drive-by shootings. The whole city had undertones of gang activity. There was an impromptu meth lab two doors down from mine run by a guy named Jimmy, sex workers and pimps were busy working unimpeded by the landlords. Oakland was a very difficult time. Felt like I was on my own fighting the world, payed my bills with money from the marijuana industry. I'd make "sanity" car trips about 45 minutes out of San Francisco once a month to sit on the beach of Half Moon Bay to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and good sounds. I needed that small escape from the city and would sometimes take a few friends that couldn't get out on their own. It was always a wonderful trip and the drive along route 1 was uniquely beautiful.

Oakland itself was hard but it was no where near as hard as losing my mother when I was 25, suicide. A very close cousin passed away shortly after she did, overdose. Because terrible things happen in threes, the dog died of face cancer within three months of everyone else. My sense of color dulled immensely during that time. Everyone experiences tragic loss eventually, maybe Ukraine is reminding me about it. My sense of color eventually came back but I'm going to take this moment to awkwardly segue into the final section...

Section V: Uplifting blog outro that includes an ad for my Bandcamp page

Life is nuts, try to enjoy things. Take a few risks but don't die. Be spontaneous creative machines. Just because you don't become some glamorous rock star doesn't mean you can't live meaningful, creative lives. Travel a little. Be fucking real. And because I'm some huge sell out, check out my Bandcamp page. The only person that bought a digital copy of No Boundaries was the guy that drew up the art, you damn jobless slackers. Don't diss MindChamber like that. Go buy a digital EP and slather yourself in the dissociative feelings my weird-ass music will give you. It's only unpleasant if you choose to experience it with the realistic outlook that it's just a bunch of noise and those noises displease you. Reality can be anything! If my music displeases you, try pretending that it's actually your favorite band, they're trying something new, and you love it.

Section VI: tldr

tldr, yes. very long.

Sincerest feelings,

Quarl