A year at art school is getting me to think about things I've never really thought of. What used to be a hobby of mine is becoming my life and my future. While I'm by no means tied to electronic music, I really want to protect my work and ready it for commercial retail. I feel like I'm just now getting good, and I want to start collecting what I have for myself. If I give away my music for free, no one will want to buy it. Same with my art work.
I always just give away the things I create. Paintings, drawings, animations, music and anything else I've ever worked on has been profitless. I'm going to be an artist, but I can't be such if I'm always so generous. I've bought sets of blank cds; 60 sets, and just gave them all away without a penny back. It was my old work, and I'm embarrassed by it now. I'm through with it. The generosity stops here. This is perhaps where I get the least amount of response for my work. I'm tired of all the little kids on newgrounds voting zero for nothing. I'm tired of all the useless reviews that say "lol! good j0rb" and that nonsense. The good reviews I get back have been so helpful. I'd be no where if it wasn't for those people, but it just isn't going to be enough anymore. I'm almost at the point where feedback is worthless and a majority of what I produce should be exploration and not guidance. Sure there are things I still need to learn how to do, like how to use a compressor properly, and better mastering techniques.
Things like that don't matter to me anymore though. I'm holding on to my work now because it's good enough to fix later and sell for retail. Or at least that's how I feel. My latest and last track here "Eclipse" is so much better than anything I've ever made, and I only started working on it a day before I submitted it. I feel so comfortable with it. I'm happy with it.
I've done a live set before, and it was really interesting. I want to continue to explore performing with my work, presenting it. Finding new ways to deliver electronic music to people otherwise unwilling to give it a shot. I want to share my work, but not for nothing. I want to make it my life. I want to make sound my bread and butter. Am I in the wrong school for it? Of course not. I'll be taking a time media studio next year and I'll have access to all sorts of fun toys and synthesizers. Art school is the right school for what I want to do. It's teaching me how to better explain what I do. It's teaching me to better handle my work. It's teaching me so much. Perhaps, it's teaching me more than I could ever learn here on newgrounds.
Dunno. I guess there's a lot on my mind right now. Fact is, I don't feel like newgrounds is a good outlet for me. I have the same experience with myspace. I just can't stand out here or anywhere else on the net. It's not going to happen here. I need to do more live performances. I need to promote my self. I need to get the fuck away from newgrounds. There are problems with the AP that need to be fixed. There are problems with the average newgrounds users. There are problems that may never get fixed.
Who knows, maybe they will fix the problems, but I won't be around for it. I'll still post in the forums and exist here to review work and bitch out idiots who use free garage band loops, but the problems of the portal won't be my problems. "The problems of the future, today" is not my motto, as it's no longer Tom Fulp's. My new motto is "the problems of future, yesterday."
Ahem, to paraphrase, I'm happy with my work, but I'm disappointed with the general newgrounds community. Some people make it almost worth while, and you know who you are, but I just can't stand the bull shit any more. Also, I plan on being successful with my art. While being generous is a good thing, it isn't helping me.
Good bye audio portal. Hello the rest of my life.
One more thing... if you havn't allready listened to the collaboration I did with Trogdar, go and give it a whirl. That kid is going places :)
Also, here's a pic of me exhausted. Enjoy.