DON'T GET DOWN WITH YOURSELF UNLESS IT'S FUNK SLANG, DEPRESSION IS METAPHORICAL QUICKSAND.
We all have existential moments of doubt and anxiety. I prefer to think of you as someone made up of 100% energy and exuberant talent but y'all got layers. I only have one Discord recording worth of material to gauge your character with but I feel pretty confident that your an amazing person with a lot of cool things in front of you. Creative people have so much on their minds but often times lack a means to express their complex feelings, so they make drawings of amputee/tentacle hentai to cope I guess.
I can definitely hear the musical inspiration coming off Kikuo's video. There's a lot of variety in style and influences. I can actually pick out so many little things, it feels like your music echoes his very strongly. It's good to have a role model that can do it all :D
I really liked this, I love solo piano. I'd ask if I could grab the file MIDI for a small collaboration but I understand you are feeling complex things right now. You have no reason to doubt yourself, but if you keep telling yourself these things you'll start to believe them. Don't give into that self loathing, give yourself a hug and hold up your chin. You're a strong composer and a treasure <3