I. My Newer New Friend:

@Cyberdevil Here's that polaroid you asked for!

I was trying to get the pole into it's hands to make it look like it was playing with the pole but like a stereotypical adult I didn't do any math. Was maybe gonna fix her up some more and get another picture riding her head while holding the pole like a battle woman, valiantly killing an endangered beast. The snow melted way too fast though. Snow is easier or harder to work with at different points in time factoring for things like melt or air temperature. I'll try again next year with colder snow xD

Yeah, she's pretty cool. Food dye in a spray bottle next year, I'm gonna spread color on my snow things <3

II. Church Of The Cosmic Fuck

I wanted to address my latest song, Church Of The Cosmic Fuck, mostly just because no one else is and I was really expecting some kind of puritanical backlash from my weird-ass song description, obscurity rocks. I marked this song down as Mature, a literal first. I'm not gonna be forthcoming with where I grabbed one or two voice samples because doing so would literally be sharing porn.

As a musician it's kind of funny having grown up with the sea of hentai on this website, WHICH I WILL SUPPORT, if only because it keeps the lights on for many of us and I'm a married 34 year old trans woman with no kids. If I could list the number of times people have pressured me to do porn, it's because I actually sat down and made a list. I really don't care anymore, I've ascended to the realization that reproduction is somehow imperative to our species and some people want to police how reproduction takes place.

So yeah, Church Of The Cosmic Fuck. Acolytes wanted, silly hats are mandatory.

III. NGPR, yay!

This episode was recorded quite some time ago, the recording I took on my end says 11-12-22. Give the boys over there lots of slack, whatever the gap was about it's totally alright. So many of us have crazy artistic dreams but we need to remember that life actually happens off the computer. I have disappeared from so many digital relationships myself that I totally get it. Space is something we seek out for many reasons. A friend once said to me "one day our favorite musicians will just stop making music" and it's true for all the creative things. One of my irrational fears is that other people will feel the same crushing burdens of irrelevance, imposter syndrome, or existential meaninglessness that I do and that they'll stop doing what they love as a result. I am in a good place 99% of the time and I'd love my peers to feel that feeling too. I often disappear from Newgrounds because I'm living my best life and I would much rather be there than in front of the pressure box making shit for no real reason.

Cut others the same slack that you deserve, you're beautiful <3

IV. BOSS SHOWDOWN CHALLENGE

I totally forgot to bump this contest, please forgive me @JinZ!! I actually won a contest not hosted by MindChamber for once! Yay! Theme of the contest was to make your own boss music and I NEEDED my own boss music. There was no prize other than this fun little image but it still means a lot to me.

edit: I just realized Daru's track only got 137 views, someone bump this one in the front page suggestions thread!! No wait, FUCK YOU- I'LL DO IT D:<

This image is the kind of thing I loved about Newgrounds growing up. JinZ did the thing that helps build up the community. He even posted a full video of his review process which is such an honest act of transparency. Competing for things like cash can create awkward feelings, everyone feels owed an answer when their stuff doesn't get love. A contest with no prize meant no pressure but Jinz still had to field a few raw feelings, people will disagree with contest results always. I remember getting pissed at a contest once because one of the judges didn't have any music background. That just highlights the need to volunteer or network harder, as such I'm volunteering to help judge this years AIM...

V. AIM 2024 [Art Inspired Music Contest]

random-storykeeper

She does such a good job hosting this contest <3

AIM is a popular competition, I love getting the chance to see what kind of Newgrounds talent is around us. It takes a seriously concerted effort to get to know the general community, but Judging the AIM gives me the feeling of leverage to see everyone and their dreams at once. I judged a couple years ago and it was such a good experience, I still see so many names from that year's contest and I know what to expect from them now. Jinz was actually one of those AIM contenders I judged which was another reason I felt compelled to support his Boss Showdown contest if only by competing in it...

In regards to general contest results I feel it's important to look the other way when we don't completely agree because at the end of the day all of our contests and events are hosted by similar crazy people with the same weird dreams and failings. We all want recognition from our peers but the burden of providing that recognition falls harder on some. I'm gonna do what I did previously and try to review literally everything in the AIM contest this year because I know some people need it. Artists are so talented but we are terrible when it comes to networking and promoting each other. I'm looking forwards to the thankless work of telling more than 100 musicians that they need to better familiarize themselves with their fidelity tools...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

VI. Fuck My Mom

Awkward segue, @Xinxinix recently hosted a poetry slam. I've always loved poetry because it's such a universal art form. Poetry lets people say things that are on their mind in a safe environment that encourages us to share feelings. It doesn't take more than understanding the language spoken, as such poetry can be very powerful. I wrote a poem inspired by the poetry slam. I've had really complex feelings towards the subject of my mom, she took her own life when I was 25. I wanted to make her proud but I had so much I still needed to accomplish before she died. She was my original role model, the strongest woman I knew. This poem is about her but it's a little Freudian so you might want to skip over it if your not ready for awkward sexual themes:

Frued thinks that he knows what's on my mind

Frued thinks that I think that my mom is sublime

But Frued doesn't know what I have on my mind

Because if he did he'd be protecting his own behind

I pine for a man whose name rhymes with void

I think of dat ass, the clinical ass of the Frued

I want to look in it, stick my face down deep

I want to feel covered in that Fruedian shee-it

I got him these flowers, so my feelings he knows

I got that bitch magnolias, zinnias, and a rose

My mom is cold because my love she won't have

Because Frued is my love and this poem made me sad

See, so embarrassingly Freudian. Obviously I can't share it too many places but thought "I poured my heart into this." It really means so much, and yet it also means absolutely nothing. I'm fucking weird, I accept that I'm weird, please don't tell my husband how HOT I get thinking about Frued and his massive psychology dick :o

I will now leave you all on this weird ass note, do with your feelings as you would. Happy tidings, now go make stuff <3