How are you doing? I hope everything is good in your life. If it's not, well shit. I'm sorry. Hope things pick up for you. Pull up a seat, type/tell me about your life. I'm curious. After that...
...music is an entirely fetishized medium. You're ability to decide what's good and what's not is entirely dependent on your own exposure to music. You are conditioned to like things. Ever hear of the saying "an acquired taste?" That's all music is. Or at least, that's how I've chosen to see it.
I've been told everything from "you should stop making music and do something else with your life" to "you're a fucking god." The term "subjective" might be new to some of you younger forum goers but for those of you that have dedicated your lives to art and music; the term subjective might be familiar to you. If there's anything I hate, it's negativity in the worlds of art or music. I sometimes hypocritically play devils advocate. In the end, music is music and your idea of what it is and isn't: is and isn't music. Deal with it and just move on. Music is everything and nothing.
Justin Bieber is a fucking god. Much in the way that god is a fucking god. If you tell yourself something enough times, eventually you might think it come true. I'm agnostic for the same reason that trap is a genre of music. Humans change their minds on a fucking dime. The problem is that the dime is the same on both sides but a different color. So you're a devout christian? Find yourself in India and wonder why everyone is Hindu/Buhdist. The world is entirely subjective and will change in an instant if you choose to see it. However, the world can also be incredibly homogeneous. It all depends on your empathy. Life can be as subjective as music.
Am I saying that Hitler was right and Ghandi was wrong? In regards to my own beliefs, hell no. In regards to what the Third Reich thought?
What is good and what is bad? What is music and what is not? How much does my own opinion play into all this? To me: music is entirely the devotion an individual invests into understanding something that is incredibly ephemeral. Music is simply the fetishization of a persons opinions on good and bad sounds. I was recently told that I make trap music. The fuck would I even know what trap music is? I used to think dubstep was actually just the introduction to every drum and bass track ever written. One minute I'm writing music that I like and the next I'm writing music to genres that are younger than my cat. Fucking relax kids. Shoegaze is just alt rock that was trying to be indie that became shoe gaze but is really Pink Floyd. I make music on my Korg M1. It's fucking older than me. And here we are debating things like dynamics and sidechaining. What is the correct frequency range to pan a specific sound how far? Shut the fuck up and write music.
In high school kids called me emo. I was kind of aiming for angry but would have accepted goth. Goth was kind of cool but a little too "gay" for me... which is ironic considering I recently came out as trans. there was a time in my life when I called all forms of electronic music "gay," anyone that listened to it was "gay," and anyone that made it was "king of gay." By my own standards I'm now the gayest mother fucking thing on the planet.
And we wonder why people bring guns to work/school? I'll tell you that it's mostly due to depression. Angst. Anxiety. I was told once or twice in high school that "if anyone were to bring a gun to school I'd think it to be you." It's funny to think that I would have considered myself the last person to do such a thing. I painted myself in a certain way because I DIDNT WANT TO BE FUCKING SINGLED OUT AND BULLIED.
I'm 23 going on 24 now. Life is hard but I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm glad I got to this point in my life. It took a lot of fucking work but I'm finally somewhere I like to be. I feel like I've lost touch with the NG community over the years but I still go out of my way to meet NGrs when I can. For a time in my life this place was like a second home. I loved coming here and investing time into getting to know people and their music. If it wasn't for Stan SB I wouldn't know half of what I do. If it wasn't for Sinerider, drumstep would be another one of those "trap/indie" pseudo genres. Padman, Chron, Harlock, paragon, Envy, Sessile, Zenon... damn I've made some awesome fucking friends here. I've made friends with individuals here that have influenced my taste in music whether I wanted them to or not. I've made friends with a number of people on NG that I've met IRL and some I may never. Friends.
This has been a tiny portion of thought. You can elaborate in any way shape or form. If you really wanted to, you could send me a pm asking me to listen to your music. I really don't care. It might take me a day to respond because I kind of have to walk my desktop up and down five flights of stairs everyday just to get internet. Don't take it personally. Life is music and music is hard. In that respect: life is incredibly ephemeral but also incredibly worthwhile. Make the most of it. Make all the fucking shoetrap music you want.
"Yankie Doodle came to town, riding on a pony. Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni..." what the fuck is macaroni?