Contents:

I. Don't Give Up Until It's Over EP

II. Art Inspired Music Contest

III. Alesis Strike Pro SE Demos

IV. Some Music Videos For Fun

I. Don't Give Up Until It Is Over EP

lmao, this EP. Back in January, Droid hosted Jamuary. This was an event in which Newgrounds musicians were inspired to write one song a day, everyday, for one month. I have so much respect for the artists that participated, even if only for a day or two. Had collaborated with [sampled] several other artists: Leavesz, Ketyri, MilkyPossum. Also wrote an OST for Bleak-Creep. I sought out permissions to include samples on my album late in March. They were all fast to respond and polite about the use of their samples. Honestly, I could have contacted them in February but am so fucking lazy. I'm debating filing for an extension on my taxes this year so I don't have to worry about them until October- I'M SO FUCKING LAZY.

(bandcamp)(newgrounds)

Shout out to some of the other artists I noticed during the event such as Casper, metalblinga, DiosselMusic, ChordsInMotion, vermeen, BeepBoxClock, TheVodouQueen, jacklehamster, trashalias, spun-earth, KamskiSketchi, Screch, Carf... and honestly anyone I just missed. Stopped myself from copy/pasting everyone in the thread when I mostly just remember Casper, metalblinga, Droid, and a few others from past events whose names are etched into my brain because they are awesome people. Newgrounds can be a furious smattering of talented artists and trying to cram in the time necessary to listen to everyone is a sad exercise in futility. More than that, I just don't participate in events often enough. Am personally quite reclusive, skittish, and animal like. On that note...

II. Art Inspired Music Contest

I've talked to random-storykeeper about joining the judges for the Art Inspired Music contest this year and will drop a review for everyone that participates. If you ever wanted an in depth music review detailing ideas, techniques, methods, theory, or just random stupid thoughts... I'm your girl. I don't often volunteer to do events that are super time consuming. I joined the panel for the AIM judges years ago and loved the experience. It's time to rejoin the fold and drop some super long reviews that make people question the quality of their headphones <3

If you are unaware of the Art Inspired Music contest, keep your eyes open for it in the coming weeks. Here is a link to the current info, projections for the contest start date is due mid April. My birthday is the 9th by the way, celebrate it by writing some killer music for the AIM. Challenge yourselves and dig for art subs that push you well outside of your comfort zones as opposed to finding an artist or sub that suits your personal styles.

Graphic artists are lovely people to make friends with. A good honest attempt at an OST for some graphic art could lead to fascinating relationships in future years. I've been commissioning graphic artists recently for things like album covers, website skins, and art swaps. Newgrounds is always at it's strongest when artists reach out and touch each other consensually.

III. Alesis Strike Pro SE Demos

I've started to record material with a recently purchased Alesis Strike Pro SE electronic drum kit. I'll include two short demo videos for funzorz, recorded straight to the drum module. I'll post more videos like this in the future, higher res. Just trying to get my drumming arms back into shape first:

These sounds and drum samples were all included in the module sound bank. Still just building kits with those built-in sounds. The module operates off an SD card, putting my own samples on these machines will be splendid... eventually. You can set up samples to play sequentially one after the other but I have no idea how to do that yet. I can put one-off sounds onto the card but will eventually start translating some of my songs into those sequential samples. I'm also just enjoying the opportunity to play the drums again. I moved into an RV with an aspie almost five years ago. Setting up an acoustic kit has not been an option for years AND IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY. You think I started beat-boxing because I love mouth music? NO, I SOLD MY DRUM KIT IN 2012 SO I COULD DRIVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND SLEEP WITH PEOPLE TWICE MY AGE. I BEAT-BOX BECAUSE I HAD NO DRUMS AND THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. I AM GOING TO PLAY DRUMS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, NO ONE CAN STOP ME.

*cough*

IV. Some Music Videos For Fun

So obviously I love my new drum kit. I hope to eventually cross something between the technical drumming skills of Louis Cole and the accessibility of French Kiwi Juice. These are two of my favorite artists at the moment:

You can watch these two all day, they have such amazing funk. Another artist with some serious style points is Newgrounds Trumpet guru and old friend, Mihai Sorohan. LOOK AT HIM:

There are so many talented people that cruise through Newgrounds and disappear over the years. This website doesn't retain all of it's talent because to be totally honest, there isn't a whole lot in the way of upward mobility here. It's a small ecosystem of creative dynamos and Newgrounds is lucky to have experienced people like Sorohan roll through from time to time. The creative world can feel stifling and sometimes elite. In the absence of "elite," this website manages to exude an underground, cult-like environment. Someone recently called me mistress and I'm too conflicted to correct them because it just jives with the nature of this website and I'm way too easily amused by it. I'm giving all of you permission to start calling me mistress, if only because of the new album. Mistress demands you go listen to it.

I also have a Newgrounds playlist featuring all 30 songs free of charge. I'd say something humiliating about downloading tracks for free vs buying them from bandcamp but my heart isn't 100% into this whole mistress thing. There are way too many kids running around this hentai website and I don't necessarily want to encourage bad behavior D:

Oh fuck, more jazz:

Also, this band again because yes:

...and finally, something funny:

Thank you for stopping by and dropping emoticons on this post despite it's questionable value to humanity. I could have donated energy or money to something useful but instead stayed up late, posted music videos, and drawings of my friends riding racoons. Shout out to Ketyri and Bleak-Creep for keeping it real, riding raccoons into the sunset with me <3 <3

Feeling overwhelmed because I typed too much? A table of contents to help you skip things:

Section I: Where is Quarl?

It's been a few months and I'm starting to let certain creative projects slip from my focus. Stopping me from turning my Jamuary tracks into an album is the fact that I still need to contact some of the artists I covered or remixed for clearance. I'm not about to post those tracks to Bandcamp without their permissions and I haven't bothered to take the time to write three or four short private messages. Am feeling hella lazy. I was also slightly deterred at the prospect of remastering 30 tracks, fixing a bad mix down can often feel impossible. If I lack clearance for those covers I'll just throw together an abridged EP featuring the best tracks from those original 30. I don't make any money from EPs so there is very little motivation to do so. I actually don't make any money at the moment, oops.

Section II: Building a Studio Space

Another reason I'm not so active revolves around the equipment my fiance and I have been loading up on. I've been learning how to program my new Alesis Pro SE electronic drum kit and getting the old arms back in shape. I see so much potential for the Alesis as a creative tool, the machine can be programmed to play all sorts of genres.

Here's a neat demo video from SweetWater if you want to see the Alesis kit in action. Eventually I'll make something original with it, we also bought GoPros, and a Model 12 Tascam mixing board.

I've collected a few stem folders from friends on my desktop but the thought of putting in the dirty work necessary to make good remixes feels daunting compared to instant gratification I'm getting from the drum kit. I'm having so much fun with it. Haven't been able to set up my acoustic drums for about 5 years now, my fiance has ASD. He's not super sensitive to loud noises like some aspies but I've always worried about his ears in regards to the drum kit. Don't want to hurt my kitties either, literally all ears can be damaged. Drums are so loud, having a drum kit that can be programmed or even turned "off" is such a godsend.

Another Alesis demo video, drum battle.

We're going to build a studio space this summer for all of our music equipment. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time but have always had to compromise for living situations or budget. Having a dedicated creative space is a huge prospect because a digital space can begin to feel claustrophobic. I currently despise looking at my computer, especially after watching something like this:

Now I want to jam in a salt flat at sunset filmed by drones and surrounded by expensive music equipment, help D:



Section III: Ukraine

There's also the depressing state of affairs in Ukraine right now which is taking up a huge emotional space in my psyche. Tom and I will cycle through news stations through out the day and lament on all the sad images and experiences being created in Ukraine right now. I can't even derive happiness from video games, everything feels so insignificant and selfish. Having a hard time finding the justification to finish an EP that will only sell one copy while Putin is literally threatening a nuclear World War III. How do you people sleep at night? Nuclear war will kill us all.

Section IV: GLBT stuff, skip if hetero

Hopefully I'll get some positive energy when Spring rolls around. I had deleted some thoughts from my last track's commentary because I just felt stupid with everything going on. It takes a constant reminder that my place here on Newgrounds has evolved from "one of the kids" to "one of the adults."

Working with Bleak-Creep on "Us" has me feeling all sorts of things. Role models are an important aspect of life. We all need them. I've been living such an awesome life these last few years, I feel like it's necessary to point out that I've had some really dark years too. There are a lot of young people that roll through Newgrounds and I'm not one of them anymore. I sometimes act spontaneously to try and emulate the creative environment that I grew up in. I can be more than a little impetuous sometimes. There have been some real psychopaths on this website, from time to time I have looked up to them for their work. I don't necessarily want to be one of them.

Awkward segue because I don't like talking about it, I'm a trans woman. I prefer living a normal life, fitting in with the women around me. Standing out and being some kind of role model is an unattractive idea. Out of art school I tried to pioneer some kind of rock'n'roll lifestyle across the country with only $5,000 in my bank account from a quick summer gig. I ended up failing after one year but gained so much from the experience. On the drive to California I stopped for one night in Missouri Springfield to meet a friend from Newgrounds who was going through her own transition. Had I not made that one stop, my entire life would be different. I would visit her again a couple of years later in Miami Florida, where she was rooming with my current fiance. I have a huge amount of respect for Devyn, and look up to her as a tremendous role model. She's a person I continue to feel drawn to because every time I meet her my life seems to change for the better.

I don't like talking about my past or getting outed by people but honestly, I'm in a strange position to be a positive role model. If you're dealing with suicidal or hurt feelings, seek some degree of professional help. I feel a very important step on everyone's journey is to experience new things. So seek out healthy, positive experiences. Do some soul searching, grow, be brave.

In Oakland I'd get sick of the street noises. I had to keep my apartment room window open to vent a smelly litter box. The city cross walks beeped at all hours of the day to help a local deaf community get around the neighborhood. The street sweepers would come through @ 2-3 AM every morning to give people parking tickets. Living close to Korea-town at the time, I slowly learned to tell the difference between fireworks and drive-by shootings. The whole city had undertones of gang activity. There was an impromptu meth lab two doors down from mine run by a guy named Jimmy, sex workers and pimps were busy working unimpeded by the landlords. Oakland was a very difficult time. Felt like I was on my own fighting the world, payed my bills with money from the marijuana industry. I'd make "sanity" car trips about 45 minutes out of San Francisco once a month to sit on the beach of Half Moon Bay to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and good sounds. I needed that small escape from the city and would sometimes take a few friends that couldn't get out on their own. It was always a wonderful trip and the drive along route 1 was uniquely beautiful.

Oakland itself was hard but it was no where near as hard as losing my mother when I was 25, suicide. A very close cousin passed away shortly after she did, overdose. Because terrible things happen in threes, the dog died of face cancer within three months of everyone else. My sense of color dulled immensely during that time. Everyone experiences tragic loss eventually, maybe Ukraine is reminding me about it. My sense of color eventually came back but I'm going to take this moment to awkwardly segue into the final section...

Section V: Uplifting blog outro that includes an ad for my Bandcamp page

Life is nuts, try to enjoy things. Take a few risks but don't die. Be spontaneous creative machines. Just because you don't become some glamorous rock star doesn't mean you can't live meaningful, creative lives. Travel a little. Be fucking real. And because I'm some huge sell out, check out my Bandcamp page. The only person that bought a digital copy of No Boundaries was the guy that drew up the art, you damn jobless slackers. Don't diss MindChamber like that. Go buy a digital EP and slather yourself in the dissociative feelings my weird-ass music will give you. It's only unpleasant if you choose to experience it with the realistic outlook that it's just a bunch of noise and those noises displease you. Reality can be anything! If my music displeases you, try pretending that it's actually your favorite band, they're trying something new, and you love it.

Section VI: tldr

tldr, yes. very long.

Sincerest feelings,

Quarl

So tomorrow at 1:15 EST I will be hosting a panel:

I've prepared a very simple slideshow with lecture, about 30-35 minutes with an intended Q&A at the end. I'll answer some questions from the Discord app so do try to get in on that channel if you have any questions in regards to music. Apparently there is also a youtube stream, I won't be plugged into that.

The lecture will cover Beatboxing as an affordable means to introduce people to the world of music. Though I've spent thousands on drum kits, DAWs, PA systems, the human mouth will always be the most affordable perspective to get started with. We have a lot of voice actors on Newgrounds so I'm hopeful some might tune in and learn. It took me a long time to learn how to respect people that approach the world of music via their voices. It's an instrument that seemingly comes naturally to some and painfully to others. Beatboxing is a fun approach that allows you to use phonetic sounds and phrases you already know how to make to create music.

There will be additional stories about my own life and experiences with the NYC Beatbox family, how to approach stage freight, taking advantage of open mic nights, a very brief history of western music, creating your own visual language or sheet music...

(Advanced Techniques for the Modern Drummer, Volume I: Jim Chapin)

Don't be intimidated by these staffs, they literally alternate between two notes. Why draw 5 horizontal lines when you can just draw one? INVENT YOUR OWN VISUAL LANGUAGE, WHO CARES? MUSIC IS FOR EVERYONE. MAKE NOISE.

There will be a segment on divorcing sound from music as a means of finding joy in simple sound. Topics include: Gregorian Chant, John Cage, Russian Romantic era vs American Country music... there will be a handful of poorly drawn slides that I threw together at the last minute! COME HAVE FUN WITH US ALL!

I'm gonna keep plugging my No Boundaries EP, Us Chapter 3 (Bleak-Creep has Episode 4 on the way), and of course this Jamuary non-sense. I'm looking at this panel as a means of wrapping up Jamuary. If you havn't been following it, a few of us in the forums have been writing a song everyday. IT'S BEEN NUTS, PLEASE NO MORE MUSIC I'M SICK OF WRITING MUSIC. I HAVEN'T CLEANED THE TOILET IN A MONTH IT HAS IT'S OWN ECOSYSTEM D: D: D:

EP Illustration: MindChamber

Wasting my front page privileges on a Monday? BRING IT ON RELATIVE OBSCURITY, I EAT MISANTHROPY FOR BREAKFAST.

Table of Contents:

I. Newgrounds Winter Festival

II. Jamuary

III. "Us" Chapter 3

IV. No Boundaries EP

V. Building A Cave In The Snow

VI. Random Music Videos

VII. TLDR

I. Newgrounds Winter Festival

I have a lot of little things going on. Unless I screw up my schedule I'll be hosting a panel for the Winter Festival @ 1:15 pm, EST on Sunday the 30th. The last time I was invited to a podcast by ThatJohnnyGuy I wrote the wrong day in my calendar and missed out. Sad face :C

I forget exactly what I wrote in my application to get accepted for the festival but I plan on doing an audio lecture on beat boxing, music making, stage performance, public speaking, touring, budgeting your sound, and so on. I'll probably start the lecture by mentioning how I built my first drum kit in middle school out of pots and pans and wooden dowels, moved into drumming for bands in High School, then segue into beat boxing as an affordable alternative to music making. I got to know the NYC beat box scene a little bit (Napom, Bloomer, Chris, Gene, Kaila, Kenny Urban) and then participated in the 2017 North American Beat Box Championships. In other words this lecture is not going to come from a perspective that lacks experience. If you want a head start on the lecture, google: beatbox BTK.

II. Jamuary

A song a day? Terrible. I'm slowly collecting all the tunes I'm writing for an EP called "Don't Give Up Until It's Over." Click that link to listen to the progress, this includes free downloads. I've decided to use a photograph from my late mother's photo album. She grew up near Albuquerque and took photos of the hot air balloon festival there shortly before she passed away. In regards to the album, the balloons represent things being over metaphorically and literally. "Hey look, those balloons are over our heads. I guess we should give up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

III. "Us" Chapter 3

This is one of my favorite projects to work on. I'm incredibly grateful to Bleak-Creep for these song writing commissions. Her cartoon series focuses on the developing relationship between two young girls. I don't want to give any of the plot away but it's a coming of age story wonderfully rendered in pastel colors. GLBT trigger warning, though it hurts to say that. If you find GLBT topics annoyingly in your face, try burying your head in the sand? I bury my head in the sand all the damn time AND SO CAN YOU.

IV. No Boundaries EP

Gotta keep pushing this. It can be very hard to self promote, I hate begging. This is a very special album to me and I had commissioned MindChamber for the cover art. I have a larger blog about it here but if you don't feel like reading that then here is the BandCamp link to album and here is a Newgrounds Playlist for free downloads because I know my audience is young or can't afford luxuries.

V. Building A Snow Cave

As detailed in previous blogs, I moved off grid with my fiance a while ago. We're up in the mountains of Colorado, specifically Groundhog/LoneCone/BlackMesa. We went out the other night to build a snow cave and ice fish. It got dark way too early to ice fish but we were cozy in our little cave. You make a small fire to melt the walls a little which then refreezes to create stability and insulation. If you have all the right survival gear and a good plan it's actually quite fun. We don't plan on getting lost in the mountains any time soon but it was a great exercise.

VI. Random Music Videos

Look, if your a musician or composer it helps to have inspiration from various places and backgrounds. The following videos are bands and artists that I love watching. Writing music isn't enough, you need to find creative ways to share your funk with the world and these artists are all doing it in their own amazing ways.

Martha Argerich is my romantic era piano concerto goddess, but Hiromi is right up there with her. Hiromi is an incredibly inventive jazz player and world class talent. Here's a solo video of her just having fun in front of an incredibly talented but silent band. A little weird when she gets inside the piano to play the lower register like a stand up bass but WHO CARES, SHE'S AMAZING.

This performance by Bruno Mars and Anderson Paak is infectious. I love watching everyone in this video get down in perfect harmony. Writing the lyrics for this must have been a blast :3

I've probably shared this Reggie Watts video before but it's a fucking trip. I watch this video like once a month because of how ridiculously out there it is. Reggie is an improvisational comedian and music maker. He walks out on stage this time in an ensemble I can only call "The King Of RnB." Reggie is a total clown in the same vein as Marc Rebillet or Beardy Man but these clowns can spawn incredible music. You can tell the band wasn't expecting to jump in from certain ques. The guitar player turns to the band to tell them the key to play in. A bass player hits a wrong note when everyone takes a rest. These guys are all pros so stuff like that is noteworthy. It's an amazing performance if you can sit still for the first few awkward minutes:

I love this next band. They all met at Berklee College of Music in Boston, a guitar player I went to highschool with was asked to play violin for them but he turned them down WHY JACK?? To be fair, Jack had his own thing at the time. I've shared some of their music videos before but not this one. The whole band has a wonderful time performing together. I'd kill for friends like this to jam with:

Ending on a fun note, Luis Cole is a creative fucking dynamo. You might recognize him behind the drums for his clown core side project or from his Knower EDM alias. He's also an incredibly steady jazz drummer. He always seems to have fun regardless of genre or style. I'm sharing the following video because MC Hammer pants.

VII. TLDR

Thank you for stopping by and reading some of this stuff or watching some musics. So much is happening and I literally wasted a couple of hours on this post. DON'T BE LIKE ME. GO MAKE ART. GO MAKE MUSIC. GO DO THINGS.

tldr; there is literally a table of contents at the top of this page. Just go back and read that instead :D

[NO BOUNDARIES ON BANDCAMP] [NO BOUNDARIES ON NEWGROUNDS]

About this time last year I put out a digital EP called Almost Orgasmic via BandCamp. At the time I was looking at that album like it was my best work to date. I'm equally happy with the work that was put into this more recent album however and hope people will give it a chance. If you don't have the money for purchases feel free to download tracks here on Newgrounds. I've compiled a No Boundaries playlist for easy listening and access.

Before I get any further, shout out to MindChamber and Garnet-Frost for helping me design a new look. I commissioned both of them on similar missions to draw up portraits. This was inspired by events of Robot Day so the general theme was "make Quarl look like a robot and enjoy yourselves while doing it." The end result is two portraits that I'm still gushing over. I didn't think at the time to mention to Garnet that I was working on an EP, so MindChamber had more directions that were given. It was a small oversight on my part but hopefully everyone is happy :)

Back onto the EP, I've always loved the feeling that comes with seeing how many people are downloading my tracks. I get off on the idea that other people are listening to my work while driving around with their friends or packing bongs in college dorms. It's why I continue to offer my music for free despite poor BandCamp sales. I also have a Patreon account with one follower but haven't activated it in a while because I feel like it's improperly taking advantage of my friend Sorohano. Go give him some love, his Jazz/Rock fusion is fucking amazing.

Money has never been very important to me, even when I needed it. I currently have a good life with certain luxuries that I'm thankful for but it hasn't always been that way. I know what it feels like to starve for days because money was tight. I know what it means to hustle to keep a shitty broken roof over your head. I'm in no such danger anymore so please, if you don't have much money or your future is looking bleak DO NOT BUY MY ALBUM. Each individual track will remain free on Newgrounds. If there are other things you can spend your money on, I'd advise it.

I've put off releasing this EP so that I could master everything and upload/share RSN files for all the tracks but I'm losing interest in all the extra foot work and my upload speeds can be a little grating at times. I'll try uploading those RSN files later and will update this post when all that tedious shit is done but feel free to download some of the RSN files that are already uploaded to my googledrive. These files are meant to be used for remixing, learning, and generally having fun. If you use my files please let me know and show me the results. Remember to give me some social credit via tagging and linking. If you do not own a copy of Reason I might recommend downloading the trial version so that you can open these RSN files :)

Punch Drunk

Sounds Nothing Alike

I Only Shine When Standing In Your Reflection

Completely off the subject of music, winter is coming to Colorado and all the work we've put into the homestead has been paying off. Tom and I moved off grid back in late May and have spent this time renovating a cabin in the mountains. I don't want to risk taking credit for too much, Tom has incredible engineering skills. The solar array we put up generates enough electricity from 56 panels to charge our batteries every morning, heat the house on electric, run servers, hydroponics, and luxuries like fridges & freezers. Tom just added more battery capacity this week so we can safely run for 5 days on stored battery power. If the power system were to fail or we experience constant overcast we can run a propane generator to charge the batteries or run the house. We got all the work done on the cisterns too. We have enough water underground to last the winter and can harvest snowfall from the roof via gutters & roof cleats. We heat the roof so snow melt will run into two 55 gallon basement drums that pump gradually into our underground tanks. Food has been stored, warm clothes purchased.

We're happy to see the first actual snowfall. We're still waiting on the snow mobile, should arrive within the next ten days. Hopefully the side by side is the only emergency vehicle we need but it's good to have a redundant UTV. One of our custom glass windows arrived broken and couldn't be quickly replaced so the work we've put into enclosing the porch has to be finished in the spring. We still got enough work done to use the space. We raised forms, installed insulation, OSB board, protective (but temporary) t-111 siding, a pellet stove, and enough flooring for the stove. We got 4 windows up but because of that stupid broken window situation I have to look at this all winter:

Woe is me, but seriously I couldn't be happier. The work on the homestead will continue but we've accomplished everything we needed to consider our efforts a complete success. Thank you for stopping by and remember to check out No Boundaries!! Also remember not to buy it because fuck me, it's free on Newgrounds! Seriously, just download it for free! This is free. Download it for free >:C

EDIT [9-28-21]: If you've noticed the new banner, it's a recent commission by the talented Garnet-Frost. I'll blog about it soon but I have also commissioned some album art from another artist and when they're both done I'll make a joint front page post about their work. It feels incredibly vain to ask for portrait commissions but I'm so happy with the work that I'm feeling silly about it. Thank you Jackie, I'm in love with this ridiculous thing.

In regards to the blog title, I wanted to focus this specific post on the paradoxical nature of life.

Everything is amazing right now. My life is at a certain point where everything feels perfect. I'm living a creative life off grid with a partner that is supporting this crazy chicken-owning life style. We have a beautiful piece of land in the middle of nowhere, hours away from any meaningful civilization, surrounded by mountains. Despite the amount of love I'm receiving from my fiance, I still woke up the other night with feelings of doubt and anxiety.

Was around four o'clock, after midnight, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I'm in a big bed with a snoring fiance, staring into the glow of my Newgrounds account wondering why I'm not a more successful artist. Fuck me, my life is objectively perfect and I still crave notifications and social confirmation from small, ridiculous communities? Let's sequester several minutes to take stock of a few things...

I am basically finished with a new EP, but I'm putting off releasing it for now. There's always more work you can do to an album but I'm experimenting with a couple of artist commissions. I asked two artists for some vanity drawings, something along the lines of "draw a sexy robot quarl, or just draw a quarl :3 idk" and I told at least one of them that I'm working on an EP that could use art. I'm waiting to see if these two get back to me because I'm excited by the idea of paying someone else to do the art for an album. Fuck my expensive BFA, drawing does not bring me any happiness. This is a decent means to funnel that 2nd place Robot Day money back into the community that helped raise me.

Here's a few failed concept arts for the new album:

yeah, I'm just gonna pay someone else instead.

Today, Tom an I are making use of a skid-steer to cover our cisterns with enough dirt to protect them from frost. We're burying enough gallons to last us 6 months. We've also set up a means to harvest rainfall or snow in an emergency. The system currently in place uses our roof gutters and it recently net us 1,000 gallons in one rainfall. We're putting the finishing touches on the solar array by contracting a couple of carpenters to help build wooden mounting units. Our array has been laying on the grass collecting energy since day one. It's also been killing the grass so I'm stoked to get them up off the ground finally. On a similarly plant related note, our hydroponic vegetables are doing really good. We'll be covered in snow this winter and still manage some home grown salads :D :D

Those same two carpenters I mentioned are helping us close off our porch so we have more square footage this winter. We've ordered a pellet stove for heat, next year we plan on installing a redundant geothermal heat source to take some stress off of the pellet stove/propane tank. The house's power grid can be hooked up to a propane generator, again in case of emergency. HEAT REDUNDANCIES!! WOOHOO!!

So with all this in mind, why am I waking up feeling like an anxious failure? Is it because I told my 2007 highschool graduating class "I'd work for Disney one day" and failed? Is it because I'm not some rock and roll legend that died of drugs or suicide when I was 27? Is it because I never found a better platform to share my work than Newgrounds? My working theory revolves around the fact that I'm only human. Life is so fucking good right now but I guess I'll always have a small place in my heart for feelings of self doubt and anxiety.

Fuck me I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It might be time to start working on a new digital album. Will stop uploading material for a little while whilst improving old RSN files to try and get everything at tip-top quality. All RSN files should eventually be made available for download if anyone is interested in learning how to use Propellerhead's Reason. I've been making my RSN files available lately and the goal is to get more young people composing in a DAW that I love. Everyone cracks FL and I won't advocate anything illegal on my blog but I'm sure there are similar work arounds for Reason. I may have started composing on a cracked version of Reason 4 in college 15 years ago, who knows! In anycase, you can download a trial version of Reason and open my RSN files to start learning. From there, the journey is in your hands. Welcome to Narnia.

RSN files: Sounds Nothing Alike, I Only Shine When Standing In Your Reflection, Punch Drunk

Worth mentioning, I'm dropping out of the Newgrounds Audio Deathmatch. This decision has a lot to do with how embarrassed I felt when they released brackets of round 2 then changed them a week later in regards to an error in their scoring. Furthering my resolve is a debate revolving around a bad rule that the tournament organizers have doubled down on. It sounds like in previous years, a contest entrant under the age of 18 could not receive prizes because of an abusive situation at home. As a result, the NGADM organizers did not allow anyone under the age of 18 to compete this year. I know they make subtle changes to the rules from year to year to try and make the tournament more inclusive, but it seems incredibly counter intuitive to ban eligible teens on the premise that some kids have an abusive situation at home. It also fucked with the brackets when they silently removed all teenagers AFTER the brackets had been made. They then replaced all those former contestants with people from a "back up pool" making a lot of users hella confused.

They defend the "no kids allowed" rule by saying "ya'll should have complained months ago, we released the rules 6 months ago, get fucked." IMO, I don't care how long it takes a community to read a set of rules. We have the right to point out how fucked a specific rule is whenever we want and they can decide whether it gets fixed in subsequent years. A bad rule is a bad rule. Address it reasonably instead of lashing out at community members and making the rest of us feel alienated, embarrassed, and confused.

"Everything by Everyone," or the problems of the future today. I'm 32 now but I know what it's like being a kid here. The older regulars now were once young people too. I remember what Newgrounds felt like in the era after the Columbine school shooting. I remember that 90's energy and the silly dial up noises the modem would make connecting to the internet. I remember making flash cartoons in highschool, 2003-2007. There was so much creative energy, and among that sprawl of young people were a handful of older users and staff. I think it's fair to say that I'm one of those old peeps now.

At a certain point in my life I stopped pursing a career in education. The education minor on my BFA would have cost another year or two in an expensive University. In that small span of time, I learned how much I love teaching young people. If anyone has questions about Reason or if you want a specific song RSN file from me, I will make the time necessary to communicate with you. Newgrounds is first and foremost, for young enthusiasts that otherwise might not have a creative outlet elsewhere. Things have never been perfect here. I've heard some of the older users utter disillusioned statements like "Newgrounds isn't the same" or "Newgrounds has gone downhill" or "Newgrounds is shit now." The truth is, Newgrounds is very much the same as it always has been. It's still a great resource for young people. It isn't really that Newgrounds has changed for the worst. Rather, we kids have grown and we have changed. Newgrounds is still awesome.

Everything by Everyone. It's more than a catchphrase.

[ PATREON HERE]

Been making EDM musics for almost 20 years now. Doesn't make much money but I just created a Patreon account to try and stir up more dollars. I've always offered my catalog for free via newgrounds.com and I probably won't stop doing that. After years of unironically saying "if only I made a dollar every time someone downloaded my music" I've finally decided to join a platform that gives me the ability to make pennies back! Hurrah!

The nature of taking money from people for making noise always unsettled me. Music is a silly thing, frivolous. It seems unfair to charge people for what I think is mostly just noise pornography. Regardless, 20 years is a long time to dedicate to a hobby. For the low cost of $1 per track, you can make me feel like those years weren't spent chasing silly dreams. You could also donate that money to a real cause next time you get asked at the grocery store if you want to support something like finding cures for leukemia or helping stray animals. It's your money, I'd recommend opening a savings account. Build your credit. Buy yourself something nice.

Or sign up as a Patreon and hope I don't write any new music ever again! How awesome would that be if you accidentally registered to become a patreon and I never wrote music ever again? It's a possibility! You can live that possibility!! JOIN PATREON WITHOUT THINKING. SPONSER ME LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF ENDANGERED ANIMAL WITH A WEBPAGE THAT TELLS YOU WHERE I AM AT ALL TIMES. BECOME A PERSON THAT CAN PROVE THEY MAKE AT LEAST A FEW DOLLARS EVERY YEAR, BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I WILL EVER TAKE FROM YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU <3 <3 <3

Bandcamp | Patreon | Newgrounds

Over the years, I've wanted to do a few audio tutorials. Problem log: I'm not a very popular artist, my individual voice only travels so far, and I don't feel like doing youtube videos. This post will attempt to cover a plethora of topics to appeal to as many people as possible. To keep it simple, I'm including an Index:

I. Ethics Of Sampling

II. EDM Drum signaling & cable management inside Reason (includes images and file downloads)

III. My personal life

IV. Projects and Collaborations

V. Fuck you.

VI. Newgrounds Southwest Meet Up??

VII. Conclusion

I. Ethics Of Sampling

This is a loaded topic that I will attempt to explain using approximate words and feelings. Many people have an aversion to the idea of sampling without any knowledgeable input. Some critics accuse EDM artists of being lazy or untalented despite using samples on the regular every time they turn on their Casio keyboard. A quick google search brings up this definition: A sample is a digital representation of an analog signal. Both digital video and digital audio files are created using samples ... For example, a violin sound or a bird chirp may be sampled and then played back from a digital keyboard (or synthesizer).

From Wikipedia: In signal processing, sampling is the reduction of a continuous-time signal to a discrete-time signal.

Put another way, audio samples can be many separate things. Often times they are used in keyboards, electric pianos, and DJ software. Reason's Malstrom synthesizer uses something called granular synthesis which means the sounds it makes are actually composed of thousands of small samples. Another copy/paste: Granular synthesis is a basic sound synthesis method that operates on the microsound time scale. It is based on the same principle as sampling. However, the samples are not played back conventionally, but are instead split into small pieces of around 1 to 50 ms.

So that's probably not what you were expecting when I opened up with "the ethics of sampling." You thought I'd try to justify all those easily identifiable video game samples I use in my own tracks. For that, I cite the hiphop community circa the 1980's. Hiphop artists during that period "repurposed" existing recordings to supplement their lyrical poetry using emerging technology. The idea wasn't to take credit from other people's work. Not everyone can afford a drum kit or a bass guitar. The time required to learn these instruments and the investment to fix broken parts means that most people will never be able to enjoy the world of music from anything other than the perspective of a spectator. Sampling machines allowed those spectators to join a larger community of content creators at the cost of pissing off elitists and critics. In the long run: sampling has become a way of life for many artists.

I'll be honest, sampling isn't always cut and dry ethical. There are many pit falls to be wary of. This is when things start to get a little grey. I will again cite wikipeia for saying it better than I can:

To legally use a sample, an artist must acquire legal permission from the copyright holder, a potentially lengthy and complex process known as clearance. Sampling without permission can breach the copyright of the original sound recording, of the composition and lyrics, and of the performances, such as a rhythm or guitar riff. The moral rights of the original artist may also be breached if they are not credited or object to the sampling. In some cases, sampling is protected under American fair use laws, which grant "limited use of copyrighted material without permission from the rights holder".

Do try to inform your work to the best of your ability. Samples such as the Amen break have a lengthy history. No one will get mad at you for sampling something like that. What about Nintendo SFX? Well, Nintendo has the money to fight anyone over anything but minor samples have been called "de minimus." Essentially, bite sized sound samples have been considered by some courts to be trifling matters not worth the time to litigate. I sample from Wikipedia again:

In 2000, jazz flautist James Newton filed a claim against the Beastie Boys' 1992 single "Pass the Mic", which samples his composition "Choir". The judge found that the sample, comprising six seconds and three notes, was de minimis and did not require clearance. Newton lost appeals in 2003 and 2004. In 2019, the European Court of Justice ruled that producers Moses Pelham and Martin Haas had illegally sampled a drum sequence from the 1977 Kraftwerk track “Metal on Metal" ... The court ruled that permission was required for recognizable samples; modified, unrecognizable samples could still be used without authorisation.

Informal personal opinion, not legal advice: most the time if a sample breaches some kind of legal barrier, you will face zero monetary consequences. A company hosting your work (Youtube or Newgrounds) will become the lightning rod of a ceast and desist. These hosts can avoid problems simply by removing your content from their website. If for some reason you are instead served a cease and desist, I would advise you to comply and modify your work. If you have the money to lawyer up, have fun with that shit.

Newgrounds has a long history with how it enforces sampling. I used to mod audio here in 2008-2009. We each had different styles of going about the work, none of us were paid for it. We volunteered our time to go through thousands of audio files which were flagged for being the first submission a user was uploading. We would interview these people to get an idea of how they created their music. If the work was "stolen" we'd ban that account from uploading audio. Our individual understanding of sampling, legal ethics, and so on was entirely self educated. I burned myself out very quickly with personalized questionnaires for every artist I was interviewing. Some got pissed, others didn't speak English. It was an imperfect system but it was what we were given and it took some responsibility off of Newgrounds. I'm sure everything is different now, modding audio was not easy but that specific practice was going to be spotty and grey based on the nature of sampling itself. Forgive us.

Hopefully, you've learned something from all of this and you are now even more confused about sampling than you were in the first place.

II. EDM Drum Signaling & Cable Management (Reason)

Drum programming can be hella simple or hella complicated. I'm about to get hella complicated because you deserve to know everything you can about how to set up a mixer, drum machine, and fidelity units. Since I use Reason, my entire work flow revolves around two 14:2 Mixers, two ReDrum, and many fidelity units. I'll explain how to hook everything up in detail but do try to emulate my synth stack via these two images: (Front, Back). Wiring it up is explained later but here is that specific rack image too.

You can also download my template RSN drum file via google drive. I'll post this link again towards the bottom of this section for anyone that wants my RSN drum template. I've reproduced this template hundreds of times for myself, I recommend doing or reviewing the dirty work below so you understand everything in the file.

I will now try to explain this stack set up as if we are working from an empty file. Again, it's good to know what everything does. I skip some steps such as minimizing/maximizing specific windows and fidelity units, sorry if that confuses you.

I will start by selecting "new" (or Ctrl+N) from the Reason DDL menu. From here I make the workflow more comfortable to look at by "detaching" the rack window from the sequencer. This DDL option is under "window." Then I stretch the 2 windows out until I have something that fits my laptop monitor. I stagger the rack window and the sequencer so that I can quickly click and switch from one to the other. Everything happens in these two windows, no reason to play with things like on-screen piano keys or spectrum EQ just yet. You can access those windows easily (F4 & F2), memorize your quick keys!

I'm going to start by creating a Mixer 14:2 from the DDL menu. You can also click ADD DEVICE from the bottom of the rack. Ignore the other whatnot already in the rack, we are now composing entirely off of the 14:2 Mixer. If a device such as the mixer is selected in the rack, any instrument you create will automatically wire itself to the selected device. You can also hold down the shift key when you create devices if you prefer wiring things up for yourself. Flip your rack with the Tab key, I want you to hold the shift key down for the next few minutes.

Create the following devices while holding down the shift key:

• Another 14:2 Mixer
• ReDrum drum computers [x2]
• Spider Audio Merger & Spliters [x2]
• MClass Mastering Suits [x2]

The default mastering suit is hidden in the Reason Factory Sound Bank and most the devices in the combinator will be initially set to "bypass." The two combinators will give you fidelity control over your bass drums and snare drums after we wire drum samples into them via the Spider devices. Before wiring anything, minimize Mixer 1 and both ReDrums in the rack and make sure the rack looks like something like this: Front, Back.

I only minimized the drum machines so they'd fit in those images, you can maximize/minimize things as you need to.

Don't forget to right click the two separate ReDrums and select "reset device" so that the machines are empty. Previous versions instead said "initialize patch" as empty is the default redrum patch. You'll notice mine are initialized in the previous images. I also named each unit in the rack to identify things easier.

The next image shows how the stack is getting wired up: cable clutter.

In essence, we are giving the drums their own mixer which is daisy chained to the main mixer. The first mixer will contain all of our synths and instruments but the second mixer is only for drums. I'm only focusing on the drum mixer today but don't forget to connect the two mixers via the rear rack's chaining master. The aux drums are also minimized. I usually put hi hats, rides, cowbells, and various other samples in the Aux ReDrum but today we are only playing with the bass drums (kick) and the snare drums. I wired some of the ReDrum channels into the fidelity units and labeled whether it's a bass drum or snare drum. This will let us fine tune the fidelity of our two drum signals. I'm not including drum samples in the template, that's on you.

At this point, I'm satisfied with my attempt to explain the work flow. Download my RSN drum template and let me know if anything doesn't make sense. The following ittalics are file changes not shown in previous images:

(I added a filter between mixer one and mixer two. This unit can be bypassed but it's what lets me phase drum loops to create that "under water" effect. Play with the freq and res knobs after you make a few drum loops if your confused. Create automation lanes by right clicking knobs, they will appear afterwards in the sequencer. Automation lanes are powerful. Sorry I forgot this step before taking the previous screen shots.)

(Added a spider merger/splitter and routed both the bass drum and snare drum signals into it for a side chain signal. Any instrument you create I would recommend slapping a compressor on it. The drum signals from this Spider unit can be fed into those compressors via the sidechain inputs which will let your drums punch through the mix. You'll need to play with the threshold and ratio knobs to get a desirable sound. Drums are the most important aspect of any EDM genre, side chaining them to the front ensures they are crisp.)

(Added a malstrom to the main mixer as a reminder that mixer is for non percussive instruments.)

Hopefully this section was incredibly confusing. Study my drum template file, become Aphex Twin.

III. My Personal Life

Tom (boyfriend) and I continue to move our lives off grid. Tom over engineered a beastly solar array for about $15,000 by using refurbished solar panels and cutting edge battery cells from china. The array is currently sitting on the grass, we still haven't welded the brackets that they will sit on but they've been charging the batteries to full every morning faithfully for the last month. Our electricity use has not changed since our move. We guzzle electricity but can do so for three full days using only stored battery power. When it snows, that three day battery window will give us some time to wipe snow off of the array.

We rented an excavator to bury cisterns for water. We calculated our water usage in Georgia and bought enough water storage to live off of for six months. Since our winters get harsh, they had to be dug a certain distance to protect from frost. Our water usage has definitely changed since moving out here. On average, a person uses about 80-100 gallons of water per day. We take fewer showers and recycle used water from the laundry machine for things like flushing the toilet or cleaning the bird feeders.

We bought four chicks for producing eggs this winter. Picking up the coop tomorrow. They got big fast :'|

We've built forms for pouring concrete foundations. We need 6-7 forms for a car port. Originally we were going to have additional cisterns above ground in the car port but to save money decided to bury all the cisterns. The car port should help us in the winter if we need to do maintenance on our side by side, or snow mobile. Keeps our vehicles from getting covered in snow :p

We're currently networking on cell signals. Tom works remote cyber security gigs so he does a good job at keeping our home network at buisness speeds. As soon as Space X opens Star Link in our current cell, we're switching to that. Our star link dish is currently with our realtor at the rental property we used as an intermediary between Georgia and Colorado. Since we couldn't move into our house until we built the solar array and plumbling, we rented for a short time in Cortez, CO. The Star Link dish was phenomenal in Cortez, it's a little odd that we don't get service for it an hour north of that cell. It's only a matter of time though.

IV. Projects and collaborations

I'm way over loaded with the day to day non sense of getting our property up to snuff before winter. Was tight but found the time to do the soundtrack for Bleak-Creep's animation Us - Chapter 2. I had the opportunity to compose the soundtrack for Chapter 1 last year and it's an ongoing project that I love to get involved with. Please, go give her work some attention. She has an adorable style of story telling and paid me both times for my part in the project. The cartoons are LGBT themed, hello pride month.

I keep producing junk music files. I got one with some promise but I'm having trouble with the derection. If anyone has the time I'd like to know which version is sounding better: Version 1 with no lead synth, or Version 2 with lead synth? It's a messy work in progress at the moment, ending isn't even there yet. Just curious if anyone had any input :(

I worked with CyberDevil back in December. Time moves so quick, I wanted to shout out this collab sooner but have been super busy/wanted to take the time to include it in a post like this. I almost never work with vocalists or collaborators so this was awesome to hit off. Just wish I was a little more comfortable mixing vocals. He sent a bunch of material I didn't use. I'm not sure what the ethics of collaborating with a lyricist are, felt bad I didn't use every recording he sent me. Cyberdevil is a cool cat regardless, hope he didn't mind the creative editing.

A while back I started searching for collaborators but since no one uses Reason I've had to make due with sample sharing. I'm not as open to collaborating on music at this point but if you feel like you'll be a good match for me: PLEASE SEND ME A PM. Drum and bass is my funk, piano is my forte, and Reason is my canvas.

V. Fuck You

This one is pretty self explanatory. Take the necessary levels of reflexive emotional distraught and contemplate those feelings until you feel appropriately fucked.

VI. Newgrounds Southwest Meet Up??

Covid is almost behind us, a mere memory of a time of hardship. We can start to consider meeting each other in person again. I've been to a few prior newgrounds meet ups, would love to host something similar in the South West. This is only a rallying call for anyone interested in co-organizing something. I'm in the four corners region, would probably try to locate and rent a convention space in an area central to the most people. Major cities I'd consider include Denver, Albuquerque, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, etc. Cost of renting out a convention center might prohibit the end location to a smaller town but most hotels have a conference room that can be rented out for a few hundred bucks. I'm an audio peep, would love to find a space that allows the set up of computers, instruments, and a PA system for short jam sessions and idea sharing. A major city would attract a larger crowd, would love to curate an organized creative experience for artists of all mediums. One of my favorite mementos is a sketch pad featuring drawings from various artists that attended the 2017 Pico Day office party. I guess I just want to be surrounded by creative people again, this whole lock down thing has been hugely detrimental to my social life.

Again, if anyone is interested in organizing something with me let's make a forum thread or discord channel to get an idea for possible locations, events, hotels, bars, or anything relevant.

VII. Conclusion

Holy shit, you made it this far! Give yourself a pat on the back. If you skipped everything because tldr, I recommend going back and reading Section V. It's a very short section and it conveys a certain feeling that I think will remain relevant to you despite skipping all the other sections. Thank you my babies and have a wonderful day.

I've had the pleasure to communicate with many young and aspiring artists over the years. There are a lot of fun sounds and ideas that the newgrounds music people invent. I'm not as communal as I would like to be however and regret that there are artists here that I've been bumping shoulders with for decades that I know next to nothing about. Never talked to them or left reviews. Artists here develop small microcosms and cults. You can spend 20 years on the same website and never communicate, take notice, or give feedback. It's mildly depressing.

I've posted that the focus here is music but if you're an artist, animator, coder, or voice actor and have something that you're really proud of then go ahead and post it here. The newgrounds community is always exciting. Though I upload mostly musics, I have a fondness for all the arts and sciences. Really, would just like to know you all a little better. Even if you're one of my regulars that I talk to, share something. Post two things you made that you love :)

This isn't supposed to be an advert, but in case you don't know what I'm all about: here and this. Would love to keep the focus on you people though. Show me some work you're proud of and I'll get back to you shortly :)